A
male
age
36-40,
*nyx
writes:Over the past week my ex-girlfriend and I are trying to get back together but while we were broken up she always talked to this guy whom she says is considered just a "friend". although she told me that one night he went over to her house to lay with her until she went to sleep. I don't believe they had sex but to me it's way too close of a relationship with another guy. They still talk and TXT each other constantly. She says she's in love with me and just want to take it slow because she doesn't want her heart broken again(which I definitely understand because it was hard on me too because I love her as well).Is it possible though for a girl and a guy to have this close of a relationship without any feelings of love(as in "love" to marry one day and not "brotherly love")?
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male
reader, Onyx +, writes (16 March 2008):
Onyx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for responding! Yea, well she has told me everything there is to know about her. And I told her if she ever needs a shoulder to cry on someone to talk to that I'd be here for her. It just bothers me I guess because he invites her over to his house all the time and I think if he had any respect for me he'd understand that I wouldn't be okay with that. Thanks for the help girls! It's much needed!
A
female
reader, korculan queen  +, writes (16 March 2008):
I would definitely say it is a personal thing different with other people. I certainly do not have male friends I would lie down in bed with and do nothing. Maybe if I had a gay friend or guy who was attracted to males. Hate using labels. This would be the only time I would be cool with that and enjoy him in the bed knowing he would not try anything. I would text him all the time too cause it would be a friendship with no possibility of turning into anything else. Do not want to label this guy but this may not be the situation with him. Just coming from a female's perspective.
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A
female
reader, lovablechunkyshaz  +, writes (16 March 2008):
 The answer you are looking for is yes, you can have a friend of the oppisite sex and not have sexual feelings, To her this man has been in her life and she has confided her innermost feelings and thoughts, To her she is doing nothing wrong by maintaining the friendship while she is with you, This girl has nothing to hide, If you 2 were split the chances are he went over to her house to give her the comfort she needed due to the split,Taking things slow is always good, if you 2 have true feelings for each other as in love, then enjoy the time you have together and enjoy finding each others likes/dislikes.If it really does bother you with the talk and txt, Just say to her that when you too see each other can mobiles ( including yours) be switched off, as you want to cuddle and and talk to each other, rather than speak to others, State to her you understand the friendship she shares with her male friend, Be clear to her that u see him as no threat, At the end of the day, if she really wanted to be with him then she would not have agreed to give things with you another go. The love she has for him is totally diffrent to the love she shares with you, And as long as she shows the love and you both understand the situation then i think you 2 will be very happy, good luck xxxxx
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A
female
reader, suganspice13x +, writes (16 March 2008):
 It is possiblie for a girl to just be close friends with a guy and have no feelings. Have you spoke to her about it? Does she know it upsets you? Maybe she was just lonly after the break up and just wanted somebody there with her. Although i would be a bit suspicious of his intentions, it seems like you both trust eachother and have a lot of love for eachother so just tell her how you really feel. Tell her you are glad she has a friend that she can be so close to, but let her know that it upsets you when she is too close to him and being in bed with another lad is crossing the boundaries.
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