A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I'm a married man, in his mid-40s who is having a bit of trouble over my wife's bankruptcy. I myself have gone though it as well, but for some reason, I find myself getting angry about hers. It's a bit more complicated than mine, in that it involves an ex-boyfriend who loaned her money to use to pay off her credit cards (over $25000). Unfortunately, she was out of work for 6 months, and ran up the cards again. I wasn't married to her at the time, but did advise her against taking the loan, encouraging her to go the bankruptcy route instead. I think my anger comes from the fact that she took the loan anyway, even though I told her it was a bad idea. I think it also stems from the fact that this old boyfriend is hounding us, and being a complete arsehole.So the point is, I'm fed up. I'm tired of the BS, and though I'm forgiving, and "this too shall pass", I am really having a hard time with all of it. What should I do? Is counselling a good idea? We're a little short on funds . . .
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): I think the two of you need a serious wake-up call!
How is it possible that your wife ran up $ 25,000 of debt in the course of six months? That is some serious bad spending!
As for her poor ex-boyfriend hounding you for the money back - WHAT DID YOU THINK HE'D DO??! It's not a couple of hundreds that you can forgive and forget. Your wife owes him a lot of money - going the bankruptcy route will get rid of this debt but it would be very unethical of you two not to pay this guy back.
Instead of counselling you should go see a financial advisor that will be able to set you straight regarding your debt and spending issues.
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