A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a confident person, so how can someone i don't know make me feel so small? When i go out and i'm having a good time, just enjoying the night with my girls. But as soon as i feel the slightest bit of rejection, it knocks me and i feel like i am not gorgeous like the other girls or even pretty at all, i feel pathetic.. So i go look at myself in the mirrors and feel as though i have gotten ugly during the night and it aggravates me because i don't want to feel like that! It is such a depressing and disheartening feeling that i wouldn't want people to experience. And i know i shouldn't let any guy make me feel like that, especially when i don't even know them!! It ruins my night and I know rejection happens and not everyone will be attracted to me, so how can i get rid of this? Please!? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): Good question OP,
I wish I had a concise answer, but honestly it's the sort of feeling everyone has...you will always run into strangers who for whatever reason mistreat you or reject you out of hand. Men and women both experience it. Impersonal rejection will always be there. I think it's a question of how you react to it. I can tell you the sting diminishes with age. And I think it's important to realize they reject you in part BECAUSE they don't know you.
You sound pretty self aware and compassionate so I doubt this rejection has anything to do with your personality. It might however have a lot to do with the context. If you go out to a club with a gaggle of girls where the goal of the evening is to distract yourselves with male attention...I would have to say that sort of anonymous rejection comes with that sort of anonymous fishing.
Alternately, if some stranger liked you for no other reason than the dress you're wearing and 30 seconds of conversation you can barely hear, you should ask yourself, is this really such a high compliment? If you're looking for real male attention and want to be appreciated for your personality, try meeting them in a different context. This is part of the reason I stopped clubbing when I was your age.
|
