A
female
age
30-35,
*Ax
writes:Hello.I have a male friend called 'james' who happens to be one of those people who clings onto his ex's. At the moment, he is finding it hard to forget his last ex. Today he told me that it has been 6 months since she broke up with him. It pains me to see that he has been in pain for all this time. and i don't know what to suggest to him. What can he do? can his ex girlfriend somehow help?Here's some facts i think you should know:- they went out for 3 months and everything was perfect for him.- he is a very good guy - i almost went into a relationship with him but that got interrupted as i guy i had 'hunted' for ages finally asked me out( james knows all this and i've told him that i generally do not think there's anything seriously off putting in his personality to stop him from having a long relationship with anyone)- he does not have any disabilities.- he has and maybe still is suffering from depression( as his older brother has aspergers syndrome and he believes he is not treated fairly in the house as his brother uses his problems against him so he can get away with things he did wrong, on top of other normal family problems)- he finally has realised that his ex gf told the truth when she said that he didn't do anything wrong in the relationship- he tells me that he has tried everything to forget her e.g. see other girls and have minimal contact with her.- he says that it pains him more that she was prefect and would have prefered if she did something wrong in their relationship. - he also wishes that they should have never had been together.- in a few weeks time, he shall be going off to university. ive told him that his life will change and it will be easier on him as he will be somewhere different without constant reminders of her but that hasn't help so far.thank you in advance :)
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broke up, ex girlfriend, his ex, university Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2010): The only way to truly find that out is to talk to him about it. Have a hypothetical, jokey conversation about what would happen kind of thing. Test the waters a little.
While I do think it's very unlikely he's not yet over her, that doesn't mean he definitely isn't, he could just be weird like that.
A
female
reader, xAx +, writes (14 September 2010):
xAx is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for your response.
What you say does sound very logical.
Do you still it is possible even when it was over a year ago since 'james' and i had a thing??
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010): It's not about her at all, it doesn't take 6 months to get over a girl you were seeing for only 3 months. There's something else wrong with him.
The girl I was seeing before my current girlfriend, I was with for 3 months. It took me a week get over the break up and another week to be ready to start dating again. He has other issues and if you want my opinion I think it might be you he's trying to get over and he's telling you all this but using his ex as means to tell you, trying to gauge how you will react to that. I've seen this lots of times and even done it myself.
It's more likely he got heartbroken when you went out with this other guy rather than him. I think it's you he's trying to forget, I think it's you that he sees as perfect and wishes he could get over. Unless he's mentally ill then that's the only reason I can see because 3 months is nothing, that's barely enough time to make it official.
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