A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello People,I'm just wondering what I could be missing here.My husband and I managed to find some time to go out thanks to the family helping out to look afterour three boys so we could go places and clubbing with my visiting cousin last evening.Dohko, our adopted 11 year old eldest, spent the night at the place of his paternal grand-parents, whereas circumstancesconstrained us to fetching his twin brother, and our biological youngest from my aunt's place despite thelate hour when we got back from clubbing.(We prefer not to hand all three of them over to the same person because they can be quite a... handful.)My husband went to fetch Dohko in the early afternoon, when he'd be finishing lunch at his grand-parents' place.At home, I had of course prepared lunch too, and when he arrived... he asked me whether he could have someof the food. I told him that I knew he had already eaten, and that it's what he'll have for dinner later anyway.He still insisted, "Some of the chicken then?"I stood my ground, No, he'll have it at dinner.However, my husband stepped in. I told him about how Dohko had already had lunch and that my mother-in-lawhad previously frowned upon the boys' tending to ask for second and multiple helpings.No matter, this did not seem to sit well with my husband and he angrily told Dohko to go and grab the chickenhimself; essentially overruling what I had said. And our son did exactly that.I don't understand. We are supposed to be aligned my husband and I, be on the same frequency so that the boysdon't spot this as a weakness in us. Right now, from this, I feel like what I say carries no weight.After 10 years of the boys being with us, I am still wondering,How are they supposed to know to respect me if I am being overruled like this?I mean, what is it that I am missing here?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2024): I find it weird that you didn't want to feed your kid who asked for food! Of course your husband is going to say yes. He didn't ask for sweets, he was hungry! You have no idea if he had enough food at his grandmother's. If a kid says he's hungry and wants something healthy to eat, I don't see why anybody would say no.
Honestly in this particular situation, you're the problem.
However, if you and your husband don't find time to agree on things and he always overrules you then you have a problem.
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