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anonymous
writes: I feel so ugly- my boyfriend is fit and says I'm beautiful but I don't believe him because other people tell me how ugly I am- I'm so depressed.
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female
reader, katietyler93  +, writes (29 April 2010):
im the same way! i see beautiful girls walking around the mall when me and my boyfriend r there and it just makes me wanna cry. and i feel know no one understands. i hate feeling ugly. and its the little comments that ppl make about you that just get to you. i also stuff my bra bcuz of my small boobs. i put some makeup on and ppl say i put too much on. i just wanna go somewhere and ppl see me and think wow shes pretty. im glad to see im not the only one that feels like this. it makes me feel im not alone.
BUT I DO HAVE ADVICE THAT HELPED ME. i talked to my mother about it and she said she wuz the same way and she had an idea. the next day she took me to Dillards at the mall and they had cosmetologist there and the lady put makeup on me perfectly and i looked beautilful. and my boyfriend saw me the same day and he gave me alot of complements :) his sister also did. i felt great. now im starting to believe him when he tells me im beautiful. maybe try goin to a cosmetologist its what i did. it worked for me and i hope it will the same for you. hope this will make you feel better. xoxo
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): hey i feel the same way :(
i like never ever want to go out with someone
cos i feel like whenever i look bad
he will be thinking things about me
i feel all the time like i have to dye my hair alot
or plaster my self in makeup
i feel your pain
just tell yourself that he loves you for who you are & not beauty
personality captures the heart
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): Your only as ugly as you feel!
If you feel like your the most gorgeous girl in the world, you will be, as it will also reflect on your personality.
So what if others dont think you look amazing? Your boyfriend does...And I think thats the only thing that matters =]
xxxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2007): I most certainly know how you feel
i feel the same way i think i should
look like some of the movie stars he likes
or talks about... but you most also think if
he is with you... there must have been that physical
attraction that lead him to you..
but your not ugly people often say things that reflect on how they feel or it can be jealousy...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007): they're jealous! and some people are so stupid and insecure that they have nothin better 2 do than 2 tell u lies!(like ur fugly,retarded ect.)but even though i haven't seen u, i bet ur VERY beautiful. and i have the same problem. this girl calls me ugly and stupid, but she's just tellin me what she is.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007): they're jealous! and some people are so stupid and insecure that they have nothin better 2 do than 2 tell u lies!(like ur fugly,retarded ect.)but even though i haven't seen u, i bet ur VERY beautiful. and i have the same problem. this girl calls me ugly and stupid, but she's just tellin me what she is.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): Hey,I know how you're feeling. I seem to get a lot of attention from boys, but I still manage to feel so ugly. I get so paranoid and if someone laughs or something, I seem to think that they're laughing at me. My boyfriend says I'm the most beautiful girl in the world to him, but I'm still scared he's lying. I can't help feeling like he's lying. Any compliment I get, I think it's a lie. I can't stand feeling like this anymore.But, if your boyfriend told you that, then he most probably means it. Because, for a start, he's with you. That has to mean something! Ignore all of the bad comments and concentrate on the good ones. I know I'm not one to talk, but I know it's what I should be doing, too.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2007): Whoever tells you that your ugly is an idiot and probably is projecting how they feel about themsevles onto you. You said your boyfriend is beautiful, it sounds like there`s some jealous people around. What idiots!!! I suggest you develop some self esteem, if you feel beautiful, these people would not bother you with their insensitive comments, have an nice life!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2007): look i know how you feel, my boyfriend does the same except he uses the word sexxi just tell him how you feel and he will comfort you and make you feel better. hope i helped duce
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2007): i have simular problems i get so paranoid about the way i look it makes me feel depressed but chances are they are jealous, people get a buzz out of putting other people down. sounds like your boyfriend loves you and you can trust him, he says you are beautiful and thats what matters,who cares what everyone else thinks they are all wrong and i hope that one day you will realise this,, best of luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2006): I am in the similar dilema my boyfriend called this girl fit and now i think i am ugly i need to change my image
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2005): Well tell him what your thinking girl, and people call you ugly because they're jealous of you and your boyfriend. But talk to him about it be open and honest with him, if he calls you, and you are together all the time, and hanging out together then maybe he means it. Don't worry and no matter what you should always feel beautiful.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2005): This is a good question to ask. See alot of my past girlfriends have told me that they feel ugly and their fat. they never understood why I still loved them and how I thought they were beautiful. here is why: The reason why us guys still love our gf's when you feel ugly is because, we just do. Its no reason at all. When we started dating you all, you were perfect for us. We love you no matter how you feel. We made an oath to make you feel good whenever your upset and reassure you that we think your beautiful and that we love you. Just remember this: No matter how bad you feel, the one who you love will love you no matter how you feel.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2005): Okay, I have to say this. People will always try to lower other people's self-esteem with hateful comments. I learned this as a kid, and I'm still learning it today. I'm 21 years old, mixed, with unruly puffy hair, small boobs, & I definitely don't fit the beauty ideal of most people. Sure, I'm a size 6, but I've been called names too! Hurtful names, just because of how I looked.
I was never popular growing up. I've never had many friends. I thought it was because I'm flat-chested & petite, or maybe didn't have a winning personality. I've been different all my life. Having an abusive stepfather & a family who never understood me didn't help either. I had a boyfriend that I dated on/off for about 6 years. He stopped treating me well & started being horribly mean. He had helped me to feel good about myself...and then he started acting like I wasn't good enough to be with him, like I was dumb, not pretty enough, etc.
My point in all this is that your feelings about yourself have been shaped by the people around you. If you hear positive statements about yourself, most likely you don't believe what is being said if you're used to hearing only mean comments. Your boyfriend loves you because he thinks you're a beautiful person. Simple. Physical beauty is what people notice immediately in our shallow world, but it fades. It will definitely open doors, but it won't ensure lifelong happiness, nor will it mean successful relationships. You will still be judged by your appearance. Plenty of pretty girls are unlucky in love. Apparently your boyfriend saw beauty in you. Maybe not physical beauty, but he saw someone who had substance, brains, a good attitude, a caring spirit. These are beautiful qualities to have. You might not look like the girls you envy, but be thankful for what you do have! Think of your "Haves", instead of your "Have-Nots".
You have a sweet boyfriend who cares about you very much. You might have a loving family, loyal friends, unusual talents, creative abilities, or at least one feature you like about yourself, like your eyes or your hands. Smile at yourself in the mirror when you're alone & say,"I'm uniquely beautiful and special. No other person is like me. My boyfriend (insert his name here) loves me because I'm funny, talented, smart, and sweet. I might not look perfect but I'm still beautiful in my own way. I'm happy to be me". It sounds silly, but try it. Take care of yourself...this shows that you respect your body. Wear clothes that make you feel good, try a scented body lotion, eat healthy food. Lots of luck!
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A reader, Andrea Benton, writes (10 March 2005): I know exactly how you feel. And usually I just read the questions and the answers already posted and not reply. But your situation caught my attention. You say that he is fit, well than apperantly you must be beautiful to him. But you do need to get help, or learn to ignore the mean, hateful comments made about you. I listened to all the comments made about me. I like this guy in my school, we are not exactly going out, but we care deeply about each other. I have to admit he is gorgeous, and anyone would love to be in my shoes to just be able to be with him all the time like I am. But it's not just his looks that attracts me to him. It's his personality, and the way he respects me. I wish I would have listened to the comments HE made about me, because it really made a difference in my life. But then I started to listen to other people, and I overdosed no later than a week ago. I'm paying for it now. I almost lost him, and my other friends. I was on the edge of death. I'm telling you this because I've been in your shoes, and it's really not fun. And I didn't get help when I needed it. Instead of talking and thinking about my actions, I made a decision and acted on it. Now I'm suffering great interal damages. But on those days that you feel as though you are just so ugly, talk to your boyfriend. Boyfriends aren't only there to flirt with, they're also there to give you support and love when you feel like you just can't go on. If it means ANYTHING to you than you should listen and pay attention to him when he says that you are beautiful, and if that doesn't even help you need to get professional help. Don't be like me and wait until it's too late. Because then everybody will be looking at you as if you're some mental case and you seriously don't want that. Take it from first hand experience. But I think it may due to some stuff that is going on at home. I'm abused at my home, and I hear all the time that I am ugly and will never be any good in the world. But hey, they're just jealous. You know why? Because I'm the one that isn't suffering with the guilt of ever finding out I lost a loved one because I was so selfish and inconciderate of other peoples emotions. Take my advice hunny, if he means anything to you or you mean anything to him, then he will stay with him and you will stay with him until the end, not because of the way you think of each other.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2005): You should be proud of yourself your boyfriend would'nt be with you if you were'nt a wonderful person and your beautiful - youv'e been told, it does'nt matter that it was your boyfriend who told you, he did'nt have to say that even if you aksed him, noone is putting a gun to his throat and saying go out with her. You are a wonderful person and beutifull too FULL STOP. Your boyfreind sounds great but he is happy because he has a great girlfriend to compliment him.I can't stress enough DO NOT let other people get to you, this is important to your relationship.If you go on about it too much to your boyfriend (and for that moment it is not really your thoughts but you are letting your friends plague your mind) the great confident, bubbly, full of life girlfriend he thought he was dating; will look like an insecure, shallow person who only thinks looks are importnat.Your boyfriend also has needs, needs to be loved for more than just his looks you know! What if he has been told all his life he is gorgeous and he does'nt just want to be seen for that?The answer is: Be someone better than your freinds, he already knows you are better than your friemds, conmtiue to be that!There is something special about you and I can tell you now, that; when a man can say "Oh yes she special because she's gorgeous" - yes that's nice, BUT.........When a man can say "Oh yes she is special because theres something about her that I can't put my finger on"- that mystery appeals far more than knowing that someone is just good looking. Wouldn't you prefer that "something about you" factor, if it was me, I would, something that he just can't place and never will. With a mystery factor like that the appeal he has in you could last forever but if it's just looks he will get bored!Your freinds (or so called friends) are a great example of the non-wow factor girls, the shallow ones, who have no appeal and who are en example of every other girl in the world with nothing different about them to offer, the ones who your boyfriend is'nt interested in. The types of girls who would lower themselves everyday to grovelling to a good looking man's knees prasising him for his looks and everyday telling him he is georgeous - well I feel sorry for any man with a girlfriend like that because how boring for a man, to hear only about himeself everyday and a part of himself that has no talent that he has worked to produce and should be prasied for. Your boyfriend could be sick to death of people telling him he is gorgeous. Be better than someone like that and know that you are too because you have something about you that enabled you to pick you boyfriend out of a crowd and that because he sees that mystery about you he picked you too! Because I tell you what; someone who wants him for who he is not what he is, will make a lasting impression in his heart not just in his other regions.Rise above other peoples comments, exube to your boyfriend a person who is happy, loving and full of life. Your personality shows through first and formost and it's your personality and the times you give your boyfriend that will imprint on his heart. Someone with a great personality shines far greater than someone gorgeous with nothing special to offer!It is better for you not to show as a depressed, unconfident person, don't let your friends make you appear really as they are, because it's not you - it's them.Your boyfriend is not a shallow person; he chose you, he picked you out, surely your not shallow either I'm sure you picked him out because of his pesronality. It takes two people to want each other - You chose him because you had a choice, there is something facinating about you, that shines and thats why you can have your pick of the bunch girl!Both you & your boyfriend dont deserve the depressed you that you havn't brought on yourself but that you continue to let live in your relationship when you have the choice not to let it liveBe the happier you, don't let your so called friends take over something good you have that they don't show your boyfriend that you still have that mystery factor he chose you for. Go for it girl you are the person you are and it's wonderful and obviously somone else thinks so too!
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A reader, anna, writes (8 March 2005): Firstly, please stop hanging around with people who tell you you're ugly - they sound like mean people and any one would feel depressed with friends like those.Secondly, if your man is fit then you must be too, fit people don't usually date ugly people.And finally, please talk to your GP about seeing a counsellor [they can put you in touch with one for free] or contact the Samaritans or a similar organisation that will listen to you. You need to build up your self esteem and create a more positive self image as you'll end up pushing your boyfirend away if you continue to think and act like you're not worthy of him.If you are happy to pay for a counselling session, look up an NLP counsellor on the web or through the yellow pages, I've heard they are really good at coaching people to see themselves in a more positive light.Good Luck!
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (8 March 2005):
 Why in the world do other people get the chance to tell you that you are ugly? What makes them say that? It sounds like jealousy to me. Your boyfriend says you are beautiful so to him you must be. You say he is fit and he is attracted to you, so that must mean something. Don't worry about what other people say. People can be beautiful on the inside as well as the outside, always remember this. Ask your boyfriend what it is about your appearance that he loves and what it is about you that he loves. You need to build up your self-esteem. Changing the people you acquaint with could be one option and finding new friends.Good luck.
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