A
female
age
36-40,
*ooListic kid
writes:I'm not really into masturbating..every time i try i cant seem to get myself off, it just doesn't seem to work for me...ever since I've had a boyfriend i cant do anything without him! we have a long distance relationship at the moment so its even harder, we have phone sex every now and again but he always seems to either start without me (he'll try and do it so i cant tell, his used to being quite because of other people in his house so if i think hes doing something i have to listen to his breathing really carefully) or finishes first! and I've gotten close, but when his done i usually just lose all mood...I'm pretty much horny 24/7 i cant get myself going without him even his voice is enough to get me going, I'm not new to the whole porn scene either it gets my motor running but it doesn't last, 10 minutes max witch isn't long enough for me...does anyone have any tips on how i can get myself going without him completely?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Mr. Analysis  +, writes (10 January 2010):
You know...masturbating is one of the most intimate sexual acts that you can perform. It's fantastic when you're in the mood! The key though is having a little imagination. If you are totally dependent on your boyfriend to get you going then you really need to change that, and fast. I'm a guy and I've been in a long-distance relationship for over a year. It really turns me on when my girlfriend tells me she is / was masturbating. It's a great boost to the ego when she tells me she was thinking about us being together, etc. But, I'm no idiot. I'm not the only guy she thinks of! It sounds like you are really devoted to this guy, which is great,on one hand. But, don't focus totally on him. Think of masturbating as your 'alone' time. If you're horny 24/7 then surely you should have no problem getting yourself off. Honestly, think about someone else. It's the key. Think about all the things you love your boyfriend doing to you and imagine this other person doing them to you instead. I'm sure there are some sexual fantasies that you haven't told your boyfriend about. Maybe, you feel a little embarrassed to discuss them with him. That's why masturbating is so fantastic! You can do whatever you wanna do...and with whomever you want! Don't fall into the trap of thinking that your boyfriend is the only one who can get you going. That's BS. He may be a great lover but he's no superman. Masturbating in a place where perhaps you shouldn't is often a great way to get turned on as well. It's not cheating...don't ever think that. And even if you feel guilty, EMBRACE it!!! Masturbating is all about getting to know your body, intimately...finding out what you really love. No one should know what turns you on more than you...ever! And, if your boyfriend is the only one who can get you going, then you don't know your body and your desires as well as you should. Masturbating will unearth these desires, will make you more sexually-confident and will ultimately result in better sex with your partner. Expand your horizons...EXPLORE your body!
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