A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunts, I have written about this man on a couple of occasions in the past 3 years and got very sound advise. I thought I'd try again. So, to make a loooong story short, I met him, I was not interested, gradually he won me over comletely. I thought he was the man of my life. He betrayed me badly about two years ago. The issue is moral. It involved lying and manipulation. We broke up. I spent the last two years fending him off. At first I hated him, then of course I didn't, but we had already said some horrible things to each other. Two and a half years after I initially told him I never want to see him again and he still persists.The problem is that I still have very strong feelings for him. I have tried everything not to. I blocked him and changed my number, I dated other people, I tried to avoid him, I repeatedly told him to leave me alone. Nothing worked. Lately, we spoke again. It was the most intense conversation ever. He apologized again, even wrote me a letter nd told me he wants to be part of my life. We agreed to meet and talk things over sometime this week. I have already forgiven him but how can I forget how much he hurt me? How can I trust he will never hurt me again? I want to trust him and his persistence shows me that I am important to him. Plus we will never go far unless the past is out of the way. But how is this done? For the moment I want to suggest getting recquainted instead of rushing back together, and move with baby steps. Is that a good idea. I don't like holding grudges but I am still scared I will be hurt again. What does everyone here think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2013): Thanks for the answers but I think I may have worded my OP wrong. I have certainly not made excuses for him at all. Since the offending episode I have given him nothing at all for two years. The turmoil (which brought me here before) was in my head alone. For a year I ignored all his messages and changed my number and avoided him like the plague (which is next to impossible. We live in a small town) Now we are down to being cordial to one another if we bump into each other. And I am nowhere near agreeing to be together. I just agreed to talk to him. He has apologized on many occasions (all since Setember)and has not done anything offensive that I am aware of. His persistence tells me he might be serious about his apology, especially since I was far from nice to him whenever he tried to approach me but I find it very hard to trust him.
A
female
reader, Paula4u +, writes (11 March 2013):
 I've just come out of a 13 years relationship like that, yes I still love him but he lies and cheats. On top of it he us a narcissist or darned close to it. Even though he dumped me in the end, I knew he would not let go. He did not but I've grown wiser I am no longer available at his be k n call and because he was a cheater I knew he would remain one. So I quite happily let him go into a new relationship with the woman I found in bed with him. In our bed! And guess what she does not know he is still calling me etc etc. So when I said it does not seem right the reply is I can do what I want. As the other woman had no excuse he knew I was his partner for 13 years, I am not going to tell her he is already lying to her. It's nice to sit n watch some fool to get his and hers troubles back :-). My advice, walk away. Run girl!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (11 March 2013):
 As long as you continue to give him "passes" for his unacceptable behaviour, then you can expect to come back on this site.... time and time, again,... and repeat this question....
It will ONLY stop if/when you come to your senses and decide to have NOTHING to do with him....
Good luck....
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