A
female
age
30-35,
*orrorqueen
writes:Hi, I hope someone can help me. I'm a 21 year old girl and have been going out with my girlfriend for 6 years. Recently, she has become friends with a guy at work who she told me has sent her texts saying he wants to sleep with her, keeps asking her out for dinner and tells her he wants to be with her. She says she has told him not to text inappropriate things and he's stopped but she can't cut contact with him because they work closely and she's only just returned to work after 6 months sick level because of anxiety and depression and she need support at work. The problem is she texts him every day after work, all night sometimes I've counted up to 20 times in 1 night. She is very secretive about the texts and always deletes them. She deletes all her texts and days there's nothing wrong with this, Shes always done it. However, if I come into a room and she's texting she will hide her phone and I'd I ask what is about se says it's nothing to do with me. I ask her to tell me what she's texting but she just says it isn't any of my business. We have had a lot of arguments about this, she says I should just trust her and she's doing nothing wrong. I'm laying in bed crying my eyes out right now, after an enormous bust up we've just had. We went out for dinner and t was lovely. She started to text when we got in, and I came up and tried to look at her phone. She hid it so I asked what it was about, and she said it's nothing to do with me. Then I asked to see it, and she refused to let me. When I asked why, she said it was because they were her texts notMine. I asked her over and over again to show me what they were or tell me what they were about and she point blank refused to even discuss it with me. She said I'm paranoid and don't trust her, and that if I think shes doing something wrong I should leave her. She promised me she isn't up to anything, but why would she refuse to let me see her texts? I'm so confused. I'm absolutely terrified of losing her. Ill die if she leaves me. I don't know what to do anymore. I desperately want to be with her and i think she wants To be with mr, but she won't budge on the issue of letting me see her texts or telling me about them. I can't argue anymore, I hate this so much. Can someone please help me? What should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): I would suggest going into her work and confronting this so called mate and see what's happening and tell him to back off. Then ask your gf to show you the texts. If she refuses again I'd try to see them. If you can't, ask for a break from her.
A
female
reader, katweetybird  +, writes (4 March 2011):
Somehow, you need to talk to her about this. Her being secretive seems extremely suspicious, and she could very well be cheating on you. However, she could also be upset that you don't trust her. You need to sit down with her and have a calm but serious talk with her about this, and ask her to be completely honest with you. Not quite sure what else you can do, sorry :/
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