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male
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anonymous
writes: I have recently become involved with my long-time friend in a long distance relationship. She comes from a totally different background to me, and she currently lives with her ex-boyfriend in a flat. She is unable to afford this flat on her own, but I live too far away from her to be able to help her out. On top of this, she is unwilling to accept any financial help from me.I am not sure how I can proceed in this relationship, whether I should just give it up, or struggle on. I don't have a house of my own, and I'm still living with my parents. Getting a job is my primary objective, but how can I say to her that I need time to get my life organised?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2006): Living under the same roof with someone does not mean that you love the person you live with. They may live totally seperate lives! It may be a temporary stop gap until she can find her own feet.
If you are her friend and you care about her do not give up on her, especially if she feels the same way about you as you do her. If you don't know this then ask her!
Tell her you care about her and want to help her. She is doing something short term until she can move on (living with her ex) so in the mean time you could be sorting yourself out too. It does not mean that you cannot be there for eachother. You can still be good friends and continue as you are. If your friendship stands the test of time then you have the basis for a great relationship with her.
You both have things to sort in in each of your lives before you can be together so use the time to get to know each other better. if you feel the same way about eachother then go for it!
Don't give up on this!
A
female
reader, sleepysly +, writes (7 October 2006):
 to be totally honest with you this whole affair sounds dodgy, she lives with her x, a x is a x for a reason, that reason is that you want them out of your life,especially out of your house, why wont she except help? is it because she feels guilty? friend find someone more fitting for you. sometimes people from different backgrounds have a more difficult time, is it worth it? good luck......
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