A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'd just like some advice about what to do with my ex boyfriend, he will not leave me alone I have a new boyfriend now but we're keeping it quiet for a bit to see how it goes. The other day I explained to my ex that I didn't want to be with him and am not going to get back with him, so he said let's leave it for a while then, I was like no just try and move on so you don't get hurt and he said, "it's not easy to move on you can't just move on like that when you love someone as much as I love you, it's hard and I don't want to move on because I love you" I felt sorry and guilty that he didn't know about my new boyfriend. My ex is so sweet to me, but he's also really protective like if one of his mates play fight with me, he hits them and goes mad at them telling them to leave me alone. The other day one of his mates that is also mine came up behind me and put his arm round my neck and pretended to strangle me I was laughing and he let me go and gave me high five, then later that day he told me that my ex had a go at him telling him not to bother me and to leave me alone and if he hurts me my ex would hurt him so bad!. I was like ohh, and I love my new bf so much. But my ex was my first real love and he still tells me he loves me after we have been apart a while, and it sorta makes things hard for me because, when he tells me he loves me I find myself wondering about him and asking myself if I still love him and if we got back together if it would work then I bring myself back round and realise I have a new bf which I want to be loving and faithful too and I will not leave my new bf for my ex cos I love my new bf soo much, but I just don't know what to do about my ex because when he tells me he loves me it makes me think about him again and I dont want him and I can't make it any more clear that there will never be an 'us' again and it's even worse that he doesn't know I have a bf cos he still keeps asking me out and I have to say the same answer 'no' and it must hurt him.How do I get through to him that I do not any longer have feelings for him and I do not want to be with him without hurting him? and to just move on.but please give me any other advice but don't say 'just tell him straight' becos i have already tried that but he wont have it and it's hard to keep regecting him and not being able to tell him the real reason and there is not possibe way i can tell him i have a new bf, because then every one lse wud find out and that would make things a nightmare with me and his ex and other people ... so on... so anyother ideas what to do about my ex? or how to tell him or show him that i dont want anything more than just friends, please helptysm sorry about how long this is ty.
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female
reader, PunkyPippi  +, writes (23 January 2009):
 I think he'll figure it out as long as you continue to tell him no when he asks you out, and you don't tell him you love him.
Of course it hurts him... and it'll hurt when he figures it out, too. But he will, and he will move on on his own.
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