A
male
age
30-35,
*ustfriends
writes:well the girl I met a little while ago is awesome she is beautiful funny and understanding and we shared a similar sense of humor so that is great. yesterday I spent a couple hours with her just hanging out then we went to a basketball game. She told me about her friend who I actually know pretty well and how she likes him but she feels like there friend ship is over. I feel really bad because most people who have read my other questions on here can see I felt that same way about this girl I use to like. I know for me I took it out on myself I wanted to feel bad so I could build up aggression and focus that towards something positive like lifting weights. That was my release going to the gym and I have been going every day for 6 months straight. except sundays cause of football and homework. Anyway I have been screwed by the last girl I liked because when she broke up with her ex I was basically her crying shoulder and as much as I wanted to be with her it hurt me because I tried to hard and she ended up thinking I was always going to be there for her so she said I like you as a friend... thats it. So that felt really crappy. what do I say to this new girl I like she is the best thing that has happened to me in a while and I really would like to maybe go out and stuff. Already though I have gotten further with her than the last girl. I am not talking about sexual things just meaning I got a yes when I asked if she would hang out and I think she might like me. I am not looking for someone to have sex with just someone to talk to give a hug maybe hold hands and stuff sorry if some guys think thats gay but there are some girls that are "hot" and you would have sex with them immediately and others that are "pretty" who you want to be withMy question is how to I avoid being trapped in the friend zone, would you consider going over to her house and then to a basketball game a date? Do you think she likes me maybe cause she is pretty amazing. I guess its to early to tell her that I like her but I am getting mixed signals from her she talks about other guys and how she likes them or how she messed everything up and I say you can't blame yourself he isn't worth your time but I don't want to make it sound like im not interested. I would love to date her. she said she thinks Im cute :) and that made me feel really good and gave me a kiss on the cheek last night so what do you think? should I just keep doing what im doing? not talk to her too much but enough to keep her interested. I just really want to be with someone but we already have future plans to a concert in a month so I guess I am good until then. Thanks for all the help
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female
reader, Jen1689 +, writes (24 January 2011):
 I think you've got a good shot here. The funny thing is, she's probably wondering the same things about you: Does he like me? What did it mean when he did this/that when we hung out? Was it a date or just hanging out? Etc. Etc. Girls are very emotional and tend to try and analyze facts and events and connect them with what they're feeling emotionally. I'd take things slow with this girl. Like you said, it's early on in your relationship, whatever it may be. Just continue to hang out with her. Ask her to a movie. You don't have to make it a date, but just mention that there's something you've been wanting to see and all your friends bailed on you so you'd like to take her. Or just go grab some lunch in a nice little cafe or something. When my fiance and I were just friends, we would go to Barnes and Noble and do nothing but play Would You Rather? from a book they had. Then we'd get coffee and walk around the mall. It was cheap, it was enjoyable, and there was no pressure. Just take things slow and I'm sure you'll feel when the time is right to make a move =)
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