A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years. We moved in together after about a year together and things were great.My boyfriend has always been a very flirty person, I knew this when I met him and it usually did not bother me because I knew it was just how he is. He always hugs his girl friends when he sees them and kisses his best girl friend on the cheek when he sees her. He is also always flirty on the computer but I always thought it was just the way he is.One day I came home after dropping him off at a party and saw that he had left a coversation up on his computer with one of his girlfriends. She said "I think we need to stop talking and flirting so much, I don't think we should see each other anymore". I took this as they had been getting together- anyways I asked him about it and he said they just hung out when they were out with friends and she just took his personality the wrong way.A few weeks later my boyfriend said they hung out a again- this went on for a few months and I think his friendship with her really drove a wedge between us.Then a month ago I did something awful. I got way too drunk with one of his best friends and he told me he loved me (which I think I knew all along) and we slept together. I can honestly say I do not remember a lot of how it happened but I know that I knew what I was doing. As soon as it was over I broke down and he promised he would never say anything to my boyfriend, but I think he was expecting me to break things off with my boyfriend. I think about how wrong of me this was almost everyday, I cried for weeks about it and still feel sick to my stomach!! I feel like I am an awful awful person. Right now we are in different provinces until Christmas when he is planning to move to be closer to me. I am so scared to tell him because I am pretty sure I will lose him but how can I continue on with this relationship when I have done something this awful. He even talks about marriage. If someone could PLEASE give me advice on what to do and how to do it I would really appreciate it!
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