A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Usually when my boyfriend and I have sex, I have an orgasm quite a long time before him. He lasts for quite a long time. The problem is that after I've come, I start to get sore if he carries on, so by the time he finishes, I'm in quite a bit of pain. I know he'd feel awful if he knew he was hurting me, and stop right away, but I don't want to tell him because I know he's enjoying it so much, and I'd feel bad if I stopped him before he'd come.Does anyone know why it hurts so much after I've come, and if there's anything I can do to stop it hurting? And if there's not, what can I tell my boyfriend that won't make him feel guilty, and without forcing him to finish early?
View related questions:
orgasm Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, rambini +, writes (25 May 2010):
 I understand your problem very well, it can be very painful to be the one who comes first, and equally frustrating if the one who doesnt is forced to stop!
Once a woman has reached climax, it is very very sensitive and becomes painful to the touch for a while. unfortunately that is more to do with a womans biological make up than anything else so is difficult to avoid. once you have come, using a little extra lubrication might help to reduce friction, however a better solution may be this:
before you have sex, engage in lots of foreplay with your boyfriend, whether that is using your hands or oral sex, as this will stimulate him and get him moving along so to speak!! then if you have sex after a while of foreplay, hopefully he will not take as long to orgasm, and the problem will be avoided, plus you will get extra girlfriend brownie points for being so attentive during foreplay!!
best of luck xxx
A
female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (25 May 2010):
could you not slow yourself down? thik of something else then let it go when the time is right?
could it be the foreplay before that gets you so excited? if so then pay more attention to him and dont let him do much with you that way he will finish quicker and you wont be so excited
alternatively it could be hurting because maybe once you have come you start to lose your natural lubrication, in which case maybe use some KY r other lubrication, but this does mean stopping to add it half way through.
if none of this works then you will have to speak with your boyfriend and tell him what is happening and work something out.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (25 May 2010):
 It won't hurt him to tell him you're getting sore. You're losing lubricant. If you had a bit of KY, it'll be more comfortable for you. Also, if he's drinking before sex, he might want to cut back because that tends to delay things.
You won't hurt him. Just don't tell him "You hurt me". Just tell him that you finish first and run out of lube and ask to use some extra. Tell him that he lasts really long and that he's awesome, but you need some extra help.
...............................
|
