A  ,
anonymous
writes:hey ive been with my bf for about 3 months now, we are in love, we were quite serious at first, then we went though a long period where we rarely saw each other. now i am back at school. i thought wen we were back seeing each other everyday everything would go back to normal. but it hasnt. all he talks about is sex. we see each other alot but i always have to go up to him, he never comes up to me, he would rather be with his friends. im ok about him being with his friends and i dont want to take him away from them, but i look at other couples in my year, and they are always together, like serious couples should be. also when we are together, he doesnt really show much respect to me at all. i love him and i dont want him to break up with me for being naggy, and i dont want to break up with him even though our relationship is not how it should be. should it be this hard, and how can i tell him that i want to see him more, and that i want him to make more of a effort to see me. please help x
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2006): Should it be that hard? No, it shouldn't. You should still be in the "honeymoon" period of your relationship, working at a relationship should come far later in the future.
So all he does is talk about sex, he's always with his friends, never comes to see you, and he doesn't show you respect. He doesn't sound like he is as commited to you as you are to him at all.
Are you sure you are not fooling yourself in to thinking the relationship means as much to him as it does to you? I'm sorry to suggest this, but that is how it comes across to me from reading your message.
You need to have a serious talk with him about all of these issues. It could be that he has genuingly not considered that you are unhappy, but it seems to me that you are expecting a far more serious relationship whereas, he on the other hand, wants, and is only capable of giving, a more casual, immature relationship.
After the talk, if things don't change, you need to make some big decisions. It's not worth putting up with being second best, especially after only having been together for such a small amount of time. You deserve far more, and I have no doubt you can easily find that from someone else if your boyfriend isn't willing.
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