A
male
age
36-40,
*odachi123
writes:How and When can I confess my feeling towards my cousin?She is my third cousin to be exact... but i think the word "cousin" have corrupted it all.Here's a detail background on how we've met.In 2004, around the beginning of the fourth and last season of the year, my uncle from Chicago flew to California because he was invited by an extended family for a holiday gathering hosted by my grandmother's sister. He, my uncle, had manage to convince me to come along to represent our family line. I especially feel uncomfortable with these kind of parties due to: (1) tends to populate older crowds that limits my reference point, (2) a room-full of unknown family members -- might as well be labeled "strangers", (3) can be painstakingly dull because there is really nothing there to do other than eat and wait. So in order to minimize the awkwardness that may occur the entire night, I chose to seclude myself in a quite corner.Despite my effort on attaining a solitaire, my uncle did his best to put me on a socializing state: eating on the round table with the rest of the invitees and host, forced me to sing karaoke after, and briefly meet and converse with people I probably won't even remember.This is how I met my cousin, however.If I could describe my first meeting with her, it would had to be a "Bizarre/Weird" impression. She was more, or equally as, timid as I was when we were introduced. She was wearing a dark, fit, long-sleeved hooded-sweater jacket which struck to me as odd, since it was a holiday party. I could hardly print her face in my mind; not only because she had a goth hairstyle that covers half of her eyes but also the hallway we intersected in reflects the dimmest light from the corridor that only expose the silhouette of her figure. Surprisingly, even on such a brief meeting, I learned that we live in the same city! A few more small talks from my uncle and her sister, other than that, that's all what I've got out of it and we never met again.Two years later, I graduated high school and went out of country for a vacation. During my travel, a friend of mind urge me to return home as he had met a girl I might fancy, since we share the same taste. When I returned after my long vacation expired, my friend showed me a portrait of "this girl" he couldn't stop talking about. For some reason, in less than an minute, I conclude, with all my mental process, that she was the cousin I've met two years ago! My friend was ever doubtful that he made me chat with her online. After a few verification, trail of questions were solve, as if, every pieces of jigsaw puzzle were put together.After chains of exchanged messages, my cousin and I finally decided to hang out. And so, I picked her up. She was changed then... no longer the goth-looking girl I once met. We had a lovely chat -- mainly getting to know each other, took pictures and ate out. She was cuter than what I expected, or maybe because the sunlight touches her face exposing her natural beauty as oppose to our first meeting a couple years back -- either way, as we were parting ways, I suddenly felt something towards her. It was unbelievably exponential! -- in less than two hours, I was convince that I like her.I couldn't believe it. I thought that this is just a phase I'm going through, so I tried ignoring it -- hoping that this will just fade away like afternoon clouds in the sky. But instead, it turned into a winter cloud that thunderstruck me, as if, Cupid's arrow were shot straight from the heart -- I was smitten. My heart beats rhythmically as she prongs her hair behind her ears. Her voice became songs, laughters became music, gentle movements became elegant swan dance.Sadly, as the years go by, our days together became less and less possible because I became busy with my job as she is with her studies. Although we still keep in touch with available technologies, it's just not the same when she is not physically visible.A MORE RECENT TIMES:Sometimes I think she knows how I feel. She does confuse me a bit. Tell me secrets and other private stuff. She would tell me things like "workout cause I really like that/ I think it's hot" or "Hey, .... nevermind" or "Hey... oh nothing". And sometimes when we found ourselves in a dumbstuck situation, she would smile and I can sense that her eyes wants to know something, as if, tempting me to bite the apple.Just thinking about her in daydreams, reminisces and fantasies (in both oriented fashion) causes the chrysalises in my stomach to hatch butterflies and flutter uncontrollably. When we have plans to go out together, I get really excited.It's exhausting to endure such secret bottled up. I want to tell her but I'm frighten of the possibility of alienating her. And the thought of her exiting my life will devastate me.THIS SUMMER:Well, this summer we have been seeing each other quite frequently and I love to say that this have been the most enjoyable thing I ever had since forever (I can't recall I enjoying stuff very often). I wanted summer to last forever so I can keep her for myself. But sadly, everything in this world has an ending.. and this summer is no different. Its really depressing because I know my work and her studies will get in a way of us having little meetings. oh, I brought her to theme park one of this summer, she told me she had a blast and hopefully go to another one.SEPTEMBER BIRTHDAYSThis got to be the best celebration in all my years of existence. I am not very fond on occasional celebration specifically my own. It's probably the way I was brought up. But this year I looked forward to such, as, it was just her and I for the entire day -- no interruptions our focus was on each other. I would've thought that she suspected something because as much as I have friends I did not invited any of them. As for gifts, she made me a playlist and a few of hobby materials that I occasional give to her once it's finished. We stroll and shop around ate a restaurant with one of my top favourite dish, play in the arcade had a drink while we shoot some oversized, coloured marble in the side pocked. Just being with her the entire day send me to Valhalla's gate and into the floral garden that sits in it. It was blissful. And in her upcoming birthday, she seem to return the favor of just the two of us celebrating the joyous occassion.With that being said, I think I fall even deeply in love with her with or without her here by my side.So please give me you best support and answer on how will I finally able to spill my heart for her.My only dilemma now is how can I tell her my unconditional feeling towards her? Will she understand? How will she react? Does she feel the same?
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cousin, goth, grandmother, her ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 September 2011):
 You just need someone to tell you to do it, I understand that. Everyone needs a little push now and then, completely normal. So go ahead just do it!
A
male
reader, nodachi123 +, writes (22 September 2011):
nodachi123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust the right wisdom I wanted to hear, the both of you I mean... After all I have been caste in the haze for quite sometime and my reasonings and logic might (pardon) IS bias. One time I treated all her actions with great meaning but hey can you blame me for being optimistic? Would she think a great deal of all the handmade thinks I give to her? Of course, that's already a given... I don't expect anyone to fight this battle for me, it's the walk I must journey alone... But I do need a packed luggage filled with written support or a whispering angel in my ear
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (21 September 2011):
You just need to get on with it and do it. The longer you leave it the more you will worry about it and make yourself miserable. Really you don't have all that much to lose. It sounds to me like she does like you as well and she is probably just waiting for you to make a move, it could be possible that she is just as confused as you are. You need to talk to her and soon before you keep talking yourself out of it again and again.
You just need to be honest with her and tell her that you have falling for her charm. Tell her it is up to her what happens next but that you just want to be honest with her because you have felt like this for a while. Just leave it up to her then on what happens next. Nobody can tell you what will happen from then on in only her. Good luck.
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