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anonymous
writes: Hi I've just moved into a shared house which is fantastic, everyone's lovely and we get on well. I've recently started going out with this guy and in the morning, after a night out and feeling hungover I started talking about previous house shares I'd been in. This is my 6th house share and they've all been great apart from one where I was sharing with 10 girls. At the house with 10 girls, there was a pot on top of the washing machine where money went missing and because one of the girls boyfriend, who had no job, was staying in the house with no-one there all the time I thought it might be him. It was wrong of me to accuse him and I know that (it turned out unlikely to be him because they moved out and money from the pot still went missing). Anyway, the girl then accused me of going into her room and looking through her emails and texts. This was completely untrue, I had no reason to do this and it would never even enter my head to go into someone's room without asking them and them being in there. I also mentioned it to my housemates that I found living with 10 girls a bit of a nightmare and it was very up and down, but didn't mention about the above incident like I did with my boyfriend. I just feel really embarrassed to have been involved in a situation like that and I would be worried about what my house mates would think if they knew (not that I or my boyfriend would mention it, but I hate the fact that I've told him and that I was talking so negatively about something). I'm also worried about what he thinks even though he wants to see me again and calls me still to talk about nice things. He did say he knew I wouldn't do that. I just have this horrible feeling of worry even though I never did anything wrong (apart from perhaps accusing that girl's boyfriend when there wasn't any proof). I think I'm just worried about people judging me and maybe I'm thinking back to the situation and remembering it not feeling good. I just wish I hadn't mentioned it to my boyfriend but the only reason I did is because I was hungover and I recently moved into a houseshare, I've never even thought of it before since it all went on. How can I stop this feeling and stop worrying? It seems to take over my head sometimes.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 November 2011):
 You need to let this go or else it will get to you a lot. At the end of the day having 10 girls in the one house is always going to be a nightmare with at least something happening, ok so you probably feel guilty about blaming that guy, but it is in the past it has happened now so you need to forgive yourself for that. As for telling your boyfriend the story, my guess is that he completely understands where you were coming from and am pretty sure he knows it wasn't you that stole the money. You are feeling guilty over something in the past that does not matter any more. You need to bury the subject and stop worrying about it before it gets to you even more. There is no reason to worry about it now, it is in the past, so move on now it is a fresh start.
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