A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm an 19 years old girl , I loved my teacher since i was 14 , everyone said it was a crush but it was not , i couldn't understand why i loved her , i was crazy about her , loved school just because of her , my teacher loved me also she exepted my love to her because i had this empty feelings from my mother , my mother is almost perfect , almost .... the things she miss to be perfect was emotions toward me , but with years passing , my love to her was growing up .. my parents , my friends all believed that it was dangerous and my mother thought I was lesbian , she never told me , but i felt so ... I tried so much , very hard to let her go to move on but I just couldn't and she seemed to always hold on me , she get happy when i come back to her after trying to go away , she loved me , i tried to make lots and lots of friends more than i have , and to go out , do anything that make me forget about her , done a million thing but nothing worked , nothing could replace her..THAT'S NOT THE PROPLEM..!! now after 5 years of knowing her , our realationship got stronger , now she's all i have ,she like a mother , sister , friend , lover , everything ... she's my life, she's so sweet with me , she always advice me , I always tell her how much I'm in love with her and she smiles , when she hugs me i feel safe when she smiles I feel like the whole world is smiling , she loves me and cares for me , always motivate me on my study , she's my Joy .. I'm deeply truly in love with her , i think about her always i dont imagine living without her , I'll do anything just to always keep her by myside ... I'M NOT LESBIAN !!! not at all but when i turned out 17 years old i started feelings about her , started to think about her sexually , it destroyed me completely , I tried so much to convince myself I'm not lesbian because I'm not attracted to women and have crushes with boys.. and now i'm lesbian to her , JUST HER !!!! I'm not attracted to other girls , just her !! I know i am , but i can never tell her or never act on my feelings it's impossible , never ever , because I know how would she respond and I'll lose her forever , sometimes when she feels something wrong she just try to avoid me , so i can't do anything , she's 35 years old , married and have a family , if there's a word more than impossible to have her !!! ... It's been 5 years for now and I JUST WANT THIS SEXUALL FEELING TOWARD HER TO END !! I'm in love with her and i wouldn't try to do something that will make her sad , I want to always see her happy , the feeling is so bad everytime i see her , when i think she's between her husband hands , it's just hell that I'm living... PLEASE HELP ME ... !! What should I do , I tried many things but nothing is working , is there something that i can do to stop this sexuall feeling toward her ??!!!
View related questions:
crush, lesbian, move on, my teacher Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your words ..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm sorry for responding late , I wanna thank you all for your time anf for your answers I'm very gratefull , it really made me feel that I can do something and save myself , it seems that most of you agree that getting her out of my life is the only solution , and I was thinking in these few days , and I finally came up with an idea , but i dont know if it's good enough or that I'll regret it .. I decided to cut her off completely and with something to be sure that I wont go back to her , is that I will write her a message , confesse to her about everything , and tell her how sorry I am , and how much i tried to end it but I failed , and that I'm doing this because i love her , and end my realationship with her forever , never talk to her again .. But I'm afraid that she will be broken hearted , since she consider me as the daughter she never had , and after 5 years , this letter would be a shock to her..
But it's the only way !! it's not fair to live like this , I will feel guilty forever and god knows what will happen if this go on ..
IS THIS THE RIGHT THING TO DO , OR I SHOULD TRY SOMETHING ELSE ??
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (23 November 2011):
 It's been 5 YEARS? Time to see someone about this, I'm afraid, if this is bothering you so much. Perhaps research something called "limerence" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence and see a psychiatrist. It may some sort of form of obsessive compulsive disorder and there are medications out there that might help.
Aversion therapy would be something to consider as well, if you are having so much trouble dealing with the unwanted intrusive thoughts.
Again, at 5 years of this, you have something beyond a mere crush going on. See a mental health professional for help at this point.
Best wishes.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 November 2011):
 You need to cut her completely out of your life. Yes it will hurt and yes it is going to take a lot of time to heal from this, but your obsession with this woman is not healthy and you are just going to keep torchering yourself more. You need to cut contact with her, give yourself some time to grieve over her and keep yourself busy. Just stay strong and have strictly no contact with her and after a while you will feel better.
...............................
|
