A
female
age
41-50,
*tupidcupid94
writes:I lost my virginity when I was 12. I had been dating the guy for two years. He was my first everything. First boyfriend, first kiss, first and only partner, first love, even the first person I held hands with. I thought that since he always cheated on me that he'd stop if I did it with him. I lost it on Valentines Day, so now every Valentines Day that's what I get to think about, how great!.It didn't even work because a month and a half later he had sex with another girl. Her and I got into a fist fight over it. Then in seventh grade, I made a friend Tiana. and She did things with him to while we were dating so I fought her and got suspended. We are bestfriends now though. But getting to the point, I'm 14 almost fifteen now and still not over it completely. I've only had two boyfriends since then and neither one of the relationships has gone any further than making out. I have my guard up and can't seem to get close to any guy. Even if I like a guy and he likes me, if he asks me out I say no because I'm so scared of getting hurt or cheated on and I dont want to go any further than making out and I'm afraid that if we date for a long time and I'm still not ready to go to the next base then they will leave me. How can I stop pushing everybody away?
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female
reader, Aunty Emily  +, writes (27 September 2009):
You poor thing.you need to stop dating period.Until you get over this guy,which may take many years-but luckily you have youth on your side-when you find someone else and you start to fall in love,I imagine there will come a point where you think f it and you are able to let go of all of your fears-I havent been in this situation as I've only been in love once-but when you fall in love there comes a point when you just know-does there not,so I imagine it would be the same the second time around.I really feel for you having your heart broken so young-I was a few years older and it nearly killed me,but at least youv'e got a long time to get over him and find someone else-one more thing-was he a lot older than you,because an 11 or 12 year old girl being in a serious relationship I can just about get my head round but a boy that age...I find it quite amazing-if he was older then he really took advantage and he is a total b*****d I wish you good luck *HUGS*
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009): 12 is very very very young for sex, It really is! Not only has your body not developed enough, The mental affects are not to be underestimated!I understand what your going thru, Im not going to offer sympathy but I can offer you empathy. It just sounds like you really need a good hug. *HUGS*A lot of people (including myself especially) are afraid to be hurt in relationships. The pain of a broken heart is the worst feeling possible, I know from experience. However! Being in love is probably the best feeling you will ever feel. So it really does cancel each other out.What you must think of is loving someone, being loved, Being trusted, Trusting someone. And knowing that you have someone that you can run to hug and fall into tears for any reason and they will sit there and wont leave your side until your ok is really worth more that the chance of being hurt isnt it?It will take sometime to trust people again, But I got a feeling you will be ok:)
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