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female
,
anonymous
writes: How can I stop myself throwing myself at men? Everytime Im out I become a different person. I have to be the centre of attention with all men and I push myself onto them, kissing, cuddling and just not leaving them alone. Im not getting myself a reputation for being desperate and Im so embarressed. On Saturday nite I went out and had a row with my friend because of this and she screamed at me to get some self respect. But its impossible for me to go out and not talk to men. If I see guys I like I cant just stand there and let them talk to other girls, I have to get them to notice me but in the most over the top ways. When Im out Im not embarressed but the next day I feel so ashamed. How do I stop it? And how can I get guys to notice me without me being loud, cheap-looking and embarressing? I really need some advice!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006): Look, there's nothing to prevent you from talking to a man you are interested in. Just tone things down and DON'T be over the top about it! If he wants to talk to you, he will. If he doesn't respond, then leave it alone.
Pushing yourself onto men, kissing and cuddling them is definitely sending the wrong sort of signals - that you're desperate, you'll do anything for attention. You run the risk of being thought "easy pickins" sexually, and they will not respect you for it!
Sounds as if you have some issues with self-worth. If you thought you were able to meet a good man, you wouldn't feel the need to behave like this.
Besides, you are an independent young woman with a life of her own, right? You don't NEED to have a boyfriend to make you happy, do you? Sure, having one would be nice, but its more like icing on the cake than meat-and-potatoes for dinner.
You may want to think about getting some counselling to help you begin to come to grips with your neediness and self-worth.
A
female
reader, dalmation  +, writes (27 November 2006):
Well it all depends on if you are drunk or not when you do this?, If you are i would say that maybe you could be the driver for the night so you could not drink and befor you think god no, what could be worst you going out showing up your self and your friends or you being sober and you watching your mates being fools because they do you just do it alot more than you do.
Now if you are not drunk when this happens maybe you feel unsure of your self and that no man would take any notice of you if you did not act that way i promise you no man would want to bring you home to his mum if thats the way you behave? next time you feel the need to act like that go to the tiolet and just think about it you will soon stop this behaviour and you never know you might even bag your self a boyfriend.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006): Well I no what it's like to throughyourself at men i had a spur of that in my teens. The best thing to do is just get yourself a boyfriend then show you friend you do have some self respect and maybe that will be your motive to stop throwing yourself at men.
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