A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:No matter how hard I try and how much I've been through with my boyfriend with him trying to reassure me and show that he loves me, I still find it hard to accept.After we went through a ton of issues because of my distrust in him (with no grounds because he's never done anything wrong), he's given me another chance, but he's not as loving as he used to be, which I can understand. But even when he is loving, once he stops, or once he picks up his phone or goes online or I'm away from him, my thoughts go bad...they jump to the worst possible conclusions: he's flirting with other girls, he's sending them the sexy pics he sends me, he's looking up stuff that I wouldn't really want to know about, etc.I know he's most likely not doing this stuff, and it really affects my mindset and he can tell because he's grown to know me like that. How can I change this and just enjoy the relationship we have? The only issue is him not being as loving. All the other issues are ones that come from my insecurity and distrust for no reason.... Help...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 October 2011):
 He is not being as loving towards you any more because you are probably driving him crazy with your insecurities. I could almost guarantee now that no matter how much he loves you and no matter how much he tries, if you keep behaving the way that you are you are going to have him running a mile. It's funny because a lot of people say paranoid people won't change until they lose the one they love and realise what they had. Please do not let that be you.
There is obviously something deep down in your mind which is making you so paranoid. How is your confidence in yourself? You really need to get help with this one, or else you are going to lose him. I promise that will happen. Nobody wants to be with someone who is paranoid and doesn't trust them. I think the best thing that you can do is to go and see a counsellor in your area who specialises in relationships and tell them what your issues are. They will get to the bottom of it for you.
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