A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi all, can anyone shed some light on this or have u been thru this at all. my mum is great, she had 10 children, reared us very well, my dad is an alcholic and bad gambler, they are divoced now, have not moved on, still live in family home, seperate rooms of course. My dad not a bad man always worked all his life and supported us well, what bothers me now is, i have turned into my mum, she is very bitter, hates men, my dad hurt her and she does not forget it.I was reared not to trust men, never depend on them cause they will let u down, thru their break up i took my moms side cause i didnt know any better, thought she was right but now i am in a very loving relationship and i feel like i am pushing him away cause everything my mom has said about my dad is replaying in my mind, i think he is the same, I know he is not but cannot help the same tape playing over and over in my head that he is no different, i am aware i have a problem but wish i knew what to do about it, i luv him very much but do know he is goin to walk any day now.How can I stop my mum's life becoming mine, my man is a lot dirrerent than my dad, but i cannot help it has anyone experienced tis, please help !!!! i am at risk of losing my soulmate because of this
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): I’m a lot younger than you, but I’ve been in a same situation as yours but by rushing things and having the same worries of losing the guy got me a life experience. Do I get out the house full of anger and hate? ... Am I going to treat my partner the same way my mom did to hers? ... is he going to be like my Dad?... all his questions could rush you in to something you would regret, you probably end up with someone with worse issues than your dad just to get out your thoughts... your mom could be right about not trusting men ... you cant trust men just because you think you are in love ... they have to earn your trust ... and the best way to do so is to study the guy you called (Your soulmate) ... try to see how close his behavior is to your Dad and his ability to change ... focus on the man more than what you been told or seen... your judgment of your Dad will help you understand this guy before involving with him ... and like I said who knows.. He could turn to be a Mama boy or something worse than you Dad.
A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (11 June 2007):
Wow! Your life kind of looks just like a rerun of my first marriage' where my mother-in-law tried to break up our relationship,and I was a no good so and so. We three lived together and everyting was just like honey,honey. Never knew that my mother-in-law was stabbing me in the back, until much later, after we moved out. And that is what you will have to do too. If you stay within that poisonous, unsociable environment,you can kiss your loving relationship that you have going for you good-bye. We walked out of a poisoned threesome into a life of husband and wifeness. You and your boyfriend both owe that to each other. And as much as you love your mother or father."PLEASE", "PLEASE" get out that sick household.
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