A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, I want to see what others think of a friend of mine getting married in a couple of months and there's nothing anyone can do about it, not even his parents. He's in his late twenties. I feel so bad for the poor guy because she's got him blind as a bat, we all work together and on the same shift, she flirts with other guys right in front of him and he act like he doesn't see it. She was sleeping with other guys when he proposed to her. He believe everything she tells him. No one will be able to tell him that she is no good because he is so in love and won't listen anways, we all see that she only want him for what he can do for her, she's a gold digger and he cannot see that gold diggers do not fall in love.She's like 10 years older than him with two children which one is grown. He doesn't have any kids, she's got him thinking she is going to have some kids by him which we don't think so at her age. She mention to a co-worker while back that all she want is a big wedding and that she was thinking about quitting her job once she get married. He's paying for the wedding from his 401k plus he gives her money every week.She's not jealous of him but he is very very jealous of her, she flirts with these guys just to make him jealous, if a guy talks to a her he will charged that guy up and tell him that is his fiance, every new guy come in our department he will go to that guy right away and let him know that is his fiance.Like I said he'll see her flirting but he wont say anything to her but he will go and have words with the guys that talks to her. Not too many people like him anymore.Is there anyway I can keep my friend from getting hurt? It's too late for the wedding, that planned already.Is there anything I can do, or what would you do for a case like this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all, I'm the OP and like to thank all for the good imformation..and yes I've tried talking with this guy when he first started dating her I told him that she was dating someone else and that she's a gold digger. He says to me ""how do I know what you're saying is true""? I told him because I've known her a lot longer than you have and I've seen the things she does to guys. I even told him that she dated a guy once that put her name on his bank account and she went to the bank took all of his money and dumped with no explaination.He told me that they started having feelings for each other from day one, he said this is his first love and he loves her dearly...it's gotten to the point that he will not text me back...now that I've gotten some feedback I wilkeep my mouth shut. I will keep a strong shoulder for him to lean on and be there to pick up the pieces when his life falls apart because it's coming, Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder can see that. I can't help but to feel sorry for the poor guy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2012): well have you ever talked to him about your concerns? I wouldnt' just shove your opinion on him though. I would ask him "Do you want to know my opinion of your fiance?" and if he says OK then you can unload your criticisms but realize he probably will disagree.
but if he says no he doesn't want to hear what you have to say, then you've already lost his 'respect' as someone that he would take advice from anyway.
if you have told him your concerns and he disagrees there is nothing you can do. He has to learn the hard way single handedly by experiencing the consequences of his choices. If he doesn't, any intervention that you do he will believe is wrong and will resent you.
I would say, just stay on good terms with him and maybe he will want to lean on you for help to pick up the pieces when his life falls apart.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 May 2012):
 Sometimes.... you can see a friend heading for a fall - for a terrible mistake (as far as you can tell).... BUT, you're really got to just sit back and let them make that mistake!!!!
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (4 May 2012):
 If he talks to you about this, you can give him your honest opinion, but beyond that there isn't anything you can do. He's a grown man and obviously capable of taking some kind of action. It's up to him if it's going to be the right one.
Any intervention from you will be treated as suspect (if not now then eventually). Men don't need women to protect them and women who do so generally do it for reasons beyond pure friendship and concern.
You're just going to have to sit back and let him make his own decisions, and his own mistakes. Hard, I know, but he'll trust and appreciate you all the more for it in the end.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 May 2012):
 If I am honest with you, I really do not think there is any thing that you can do here. I know that it is really hard to sit back and watch this unfold but at the end of the day he has to make up his own mind. As you said if you try and say something to him he won't listen to you any way and it will probably end up with him falling away from you because he will probably think you are out to cause trouble. I know that it is hard but there really is nobody that can help him here but himself.
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