A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating one of my good guy friends for a few months now. I realized I didn't like him like I thought I did, but he's fun to hang out with and I really enjoy having sex with him, so we're keeping things casual and I've been happy with that... until recently.I'm now wondering how I should deal with his ex-girlfriend though. She always comes back into the picture as soon as he starts getting involved with someone else. I've witnessed this happen with two other girls he's dated, and concluded at that time that she's just doing it to prove that she can still have him. Unfortunately, it's happening to me now. She is an acquaintance of mine, and has recently gone out of her way to write on his wall and update her Facebook statuses constantly, to make it known that she's been hanging out with him. I'm onto what she's doing, but it still bugs the crap out of me. I like what him and I are doing, but am starting to get annoyed with her blatant attempts to make me jealous (and a small part of me does feel a bit jealous, or maybe I feel embarrassed, since people do know him and I are hanging out). This is probably selfish and immature of me, but I don't want to end things with him because I haven't enjoyed sex at all in the past two years, and now I do with him! So how can I just take what she's doing with a grain of salt and not let it get to me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): block her on facebook
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): This is the original poster, thanks for your responses. To clarify a few things, I've known the both of them for years. Anytime he starts seeing someone, she'll come back into the picture (so it's a little obvious what her intentions are when she reappears anytime he starts seeing someone and then once she gets her way with him, she disappears again). I felt bad for the other girls and never cared for her behavior before him and I began anything, and now I'm in a similar position.
He doesn't hide anything from me and we are up front with one another about everything. I know that if they go out to a bar in a group, there is a good chance they will hook up that night (and I could do the same thing). At first I was disgusted with this, and at times still am, which is why I personally choose not to be sexually active with more than one person at a time and always use protection with him. I'm just at a point in my life where I don't have the time or energy for a real relationship, and I'm definitely not ready for one after the way my last one ended. So, I found that this was working for me and now it looks like it might not, because I'm starting to get annoyed.
Maybe she isn't blatantly trying to get to me, but like I said, I have witnessed this behavior from her time and again with other girls that he's seen. So while none of this surprises me, the fact that it's starting to get to me does. So I don't know what to do anymore.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): I seriously doubt her facebook updates are a blatant attempt to make you jealous. She is doing what she wants to do and so is he if he's been around her. Maybe what you worry about is him getting back into a real relationship with her, and whoops you lose your sex buddy.
Oh well if you play you pay....thats the agreement if you are nothing more than a booty call to a guy or a friend with benefits...if you don't want him to date any one else then ask him to be exclusive with you, but that means you will not be open to date any one else either. Make up your mind, which way is it going to be? I don't think you have any right to be jealous of his ex girlfriend nor is it any of your business what the two of them are doing...as you made it clear you just want to keep things casual.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): Well u guys are not really in a relationship. If it really bugs u, u should let him know how u feel....talk to him. Just don't mention that ur jelous....just tell him that ur having a great time with him and don't want things to end.
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