A
male
age
30-35,
*JGumm
writes:Well i finally found myself with the perfect girl for me... i'm the happiest i have ever been in my life. But there is a problem i don't know how to deal with... You see we both just graduated high school and in high school my girlfriend had plans with her best friend to move to PA to attend the art institute. They were going to rent a house and get jobs and everything was going to be fine. Well it's a month from the start of their Fall term and neither one of them have their applications filled out, a house lined up, nor jobs (hell they haven't even been up there to look). Now my problem comes in that my girlfriend is only going up there with her friend because of their promise (her friend is relying on this for a place to live because she is getting kicked out of her house) and my friend don't want that to happen. So if she goes not only will she be unwelcome back at her house if something goes wrong but it will also cause a major strain on our relationship all the moving and stress. I know this is maybe the wrong place to ask this question but i don't know where else to go to for help. What can i do to stop her from making a huge mistake?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): I think you should sit down with her and talk to her about this. Don't tell her what to do or criticise or anything. Just explain your concerns to her. After that, what she chooses to do is her decision. So if she does find herself in a tricky situation, at least would have done the best you could. Ultimately, only she can make her own decisions, but if you tell her your worries she may consider your opinion and take into account what you have to say.
As for worrying about the relationship, my advice would be to try and wait and see. It might not be as stressful as you think. And even if things are stressful, sometimes situations like that can bring people closer together and make the relationship stronger. If any problems or stresses arise, you can deal with them when they happen. There is always a way to make things work. Sometimes they might require more effort, or a bit of creativity! But if you are both committed to the relationship, you can make it work. I hope it all works out well.
A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 The short answer is you cant stop her. Its a case of if you love her let her go. You can still maintain your relationship and just be there for her if it all goes wrong.
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