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How can I stop feeling the way I do, about how his ex had a child easily and I'm having so many problems conceiving?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Pregnancy, The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 June 2015) 1 Answers - (Newest, 6 June 2015)
A female United States age 36-40, *rsK writes:

I hope to have positive answers, not negative ones.

Ok, so here it goes, My husband and I are trying to conceive, its difficult, many different reasons, I have an abnormal monthly.

I don't ovulate as I should, I have whatever other problems with that.

Hoping to get help from my OBGYN, to get an idea what's going on.

Husband has ED, and he had a surgery 15 years ago to help him, because he had blood issues.

So we have A LOT of bad going for us. Its stressful, and depressing, mostly on my part, because I want this.

I'm also feeling jealous, over his ex wife whom he did had 1 child with, not his ex wife directly, but what he had with her, because I am scared I'll never be able to experience that, the pregnancy, carrying his child, my husband by my side, etc.

I know it may sound crazy or outrageous, but I can't help how I feel/think, and I don't want to feel/think this way, how do I not feel/think this way?

I don't feel husband understands how I feel.

Husband says he understands because he wants a boy, to carry his name on, (he currently has a daughter) so in a way he understands how I feel.

View related questions: conceive, ex-wife, his ex, jealous

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (6 June 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI understand that it's upsetting to not be able to conceive easily, but... it's NOT his ex-wife's fault. she actually have NOTHING to do with it.

When you date/marry a guy who has been in either a marriage or relationship BEFORE he met you - HE will have had a past. YOUR husband had a child.

TRY and find positive things in your life. The negativity isn't going to help you or your marriage.

Life isn't fair. It just is.

Have you discussed harvesting eggs? Maybe go for IVF instead of "normal pregnancy" ? The success-rate is around 40% - so not high, but it might be higher then trying to "catch" an odd ovulation cycle.

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