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male
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anonymous
writes:Whenever I am faced with an opportunity to do something that will make me really happy, something that I really want to do, I become paralysed with excitement. As a result I don't do the things I want to do, or say the things I want to say, such as telling my beautiful, wonderful, loving and amazing girlfriend how much I love her, demonstrating my feelings for her, going for career opportunities with energy and zeal, finding a new house I would love, and so on. It gives people the wrong impression, opportunities to be happy and strive for what I want just pass by and as a result my life is joyless, unsatisfying, unfocused, sad and frustrating. I might as well be dead.How can I stop being frightened of my joy and excitement and whoop-de-whoop exuberance? My happiness is choking me aaaargh! He he! Aaaaaaaargh! God I want to live! I don't want to kill every beautiful thing in my life any more! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): Hunny,
You are welcome, You sound on top of the world now and that makes me feel on top of the world with you as I feel good for you, Its so nice when your advise is welcomed with positive follow ups, You see you have done me good as I have had 2 bad days, Thankyou hope you and your girlfriend are happy and your life is full of peace and love good luck and take care love MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both. Mandy, you are super lovely and marvellous. I thank you from the heart of my bottom! I have just told my girlfriend I love her and it felt wonderful. I love you too really in a way now. Hmmm...!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): Hi Love,
If something is so good in life and we are so happy then in come the negative little devils who say it wont continue it wont last so dont enjoy it as your only going to be let down in the end...
So we try and live with the safety net underneath all the time not allowing the happiness to come out because as soon as we say I really love you then you may feel your relationship will change so its safer to say nothing, Dont go for that job you cant really do it even though you no if you did you would be on top of the world...
Hunny I lost two friends to suicide last year my ex b/f was 26 and my best friend was 36..If you have such an abundance of happiness inside of you and you want to shout from the bloody hill top you love your girlfriend DO IT! If you want that job GO GET IT! If you want to stand on your head singing the chicken song JUST DO IT! HUNNY YOU HAVE THE POWER TO BE AS HAPPY AS YOU WANT IN LIFE JUST BE WHO YOU ARE LOVE BE HAPPY!!!!! Take care LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): You are maybe afraid it won't last, that it won't shake hands if you salute it, your happiness? Mill said that happiness can't be put on a pedestal as it can't endure analyses. What apparently is ideal can have a damaged side, this can frighten us and is the reason why we should accept our happiness as (it feels it) is and not examine it very severely, as we might find flaws. You rather seem uncertain of yourself, doubtful you can achieve or conserve this happiness. Maybe you are inclined to not doing things rather than do them with less then best chances of achievement - very perfectionist? You should teach yourself to appreciate what you do and the attempts if they don't concretise. Maybe your parents haven't been supportive or encouraging with you when you were younger and this created a complex that developped into self-critic and unconfidence. Start by admiring yourself more for your strengths, by justifying any weakpoints, don't be too harsh on you and don't do things because you have "expectations." As for ex when you praise your friend don't expect her to return the compliments and don't rely on others too much. Rely on yourself. I don't remember who is attributed this to, but failure is (can be) the first step to success, paradoxically as though it may sound. It teaches you something is not quite right and to correct it - in your case the capability to face the pressure of happiness - accept and conserve it, naturally, to the extent it is possible in a given situation. Even the fact you want to face your fear should bring you happiness. An inspiration: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually who are you NOT to be? " – Marianne Williamson
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