A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, about two months ago, I started dating a guy. He's my first boyfriend, and the one I lost my first kiss to. He's unbelievably nice, kind, and sweet. He always treats me well and makes sure I am alright. He calls me all the time just to make sure I'm doing well, and has already told me that he loves me. The first time I met him I couldn't help but notice how quiet and how cute he looked. His behaviour started changing from to much more less shy as we got to know each other better. And well, we "clicked", found out we have a lot in common.All this sounds just about great now. Well, I recently found out he used to go out with my ex best friend. It didn't last long, about two weeks, and they didn't go further than just holding hands. I also learned that he is dyslexic, and used to be made fun of at school because of this. I guess that is partly why he doesn't feel so comfortable around most people. I talked to my ex best friend about their relationship, I asked her why she decided to break up with him. And her response was "Oh, he just seemed really retarded. He might be good looking but trust me, he is dumb. He can't spell to save his life, he can't write a single sentence. Poor guy is a little stupid, he's dyslexic too."I swear if she said that face to face and not through an e-mail, I would have shouted at her. Thing is, she has told all her friends about him being "stupid", and every time we all go out together they avoid him and make him feel left out. I'm always the only one talking to him and trying to cheer him up.Lately he's been very upset, he's being telling me he feels as if I'm going to break up with him too because he doesn't think he's as smart as other people. I told him that he is smart, and that dyslexia doesn't have to do with people who have low intelligence. He's a very emotional guy, and he ended up crying a lot of times because of this, and sometimes he might even start crying for no reason.I don't know if I'm in love with him, but I certainly like him a lot and care about him, and I get upset when other people talk about him as if he's stupid. Is there any way I can make all this to stop and support him, possibly make him get over his fear of being around people? He's a special guy, he makes me laugh, he cares about me a lot, he's really nice and sweet, and I don't want him to be depressed because of all this.
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male
reader, xnickx +, writes (10 November 2009):
 Dyslexia has nothing to do with intelegence. I am slightly dislexic (if i dont catch myself) yet am at the top of my class.
DrP is 100% right about the sandwich thing. If she's saying he's retarded, yet she dated him, then thats not saying much for her.
Lets face it 99% of girls out there arent't going to care if you're a rocket scientist, but if you look like brad pitt then you're gonna go somewhere with the ladies.
You obviously care about him to some extent, that should be enough for the two of you to carry on for now. Make sure you are there for him when he needs you, support him, and keep feeding him positive things like you said you were.
Infact, DrP is completely right period, and saved me a whole lot of time typing. =)
Satindesire is right too. Your friends arent being very friendly. If he is your boyfriend, they should accept him, just for the simple fact that you do, as long as he treats you right.
Hope i was able to help =)
Nick
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (9 November 2009):
 Being dyslexic is definitely not a sign of low intellectual ability. In fact the diagnosis generally depends upon have a high enough IQ to see an obvious discrepency in reading ability. Dyslexia can affect someone in a variety of ways and it is a shame he was bullied at school because of it. He probably needs to see an educational psychologist to go through how dyslexia affects him now. A consultation could be helpful in planning future employment and life-adjustment. Being the best speller in the world is not a vital achievement especially in the technological world we live in. Perhaps you could look around for dyslexia support groups in your community and take him to a meeting - if he realises that he isn't the only person with this condition (it affects between 4-10% of the population) then he may come to see dyslexia as a 'difference' rather than disability. As for his ex, she is just jealous because you are dating him now. Lets face it, if he was that 'retarded' what does it say about her dating him in the first place? If anyone sounds a sandwich short of a full picnic it is her don't you think?
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