A
female
age
36-40,
*enL
writes:I always want to strike up a conversation with the professor i like when we're together, but i don't know how. it might be due to my limited social skills or it could be because i'm nervous.....i feel very awkward every time we're together alone when i have nothing to say apart from " hi" and " how are you doing", and then we just smile at each other.quite often he would stop by the office i work ( his department ) and stands by my desk, and i can sense that he would like to chat, but because of me always being quiet, he was never quite successful...... would that be very discouraging to someone who wants to attempt a further conversation? i guess so, right?I have the same problem with after class when everyone left and it would only be the 2 of us. he'll always stay for a while when i'm packing, and he'll stare at me and smile. i don't know why, but i realize that he likes to sigh a lot in front of me and i always want to ask him what's wrong, but the words just won't come out of my mouth.....Also, it might just be me thinking too much, but i always seem to feel his heavy gaze upon me. i want to confirm that so badly but i dare not look at him..... Can anyone help me and give me some advices so that i can casually start a conversation with him and then engage into further conversation? thanks ~ Reply to this Question
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female
reader, JenL +, writes (6 April 2011):
JenL is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you so much for the advises! i don't know why but i start to feel guilty as if some of my classmates might be on this website and see what i wrote......i'm not talking about this current question but a previous one, which anyone from my class/him can easily identify that the writer was me. do you guys happen to know how to edit the questions we posted on dearcupid?thank you very much, again !
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011): Does he have office hours? That's always a great opportunity to talk to professors. I'd suggest probably starting with something related to school, especially if you're nervous - have a plan if it makes it easier, and you can build up to more casual conversation as you both get to know each other better. What I've done before when I was in a similar situation was develop a list of questions about the work we were doing and then go see him about it. There are opportunities to flirt subtlety when discussing school stuff, and he'll likely enjoy the chance to talk about what he knows. Just act very interested in what he says, appreciative for his help, and he should be impressed with your desire to expand your knowledge :) And, if stuck on how to move the conversation into more personal territory, I find it's often a good idea to ask about him. Is he pursuing any research projects that you know of? Any books coming out/published? Profs often have side projects and might be glad to talk about them with an interested student. But it's probably a good idea to keep the personal questions brief and perhaps still loosely school-related at least for a while (let him do some of the work to pursue you a bit), and generally keep the visits pretty short until you're both more relaxed.Good luck and have fun!
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A
female
reader, StarryEyes101  +, writes (4 April 2011):
 It isn't hard to talk to someone. He isn't gonna bite your head off. Ask him if he has had a good week or has he got any plans for the weekend. Discuss something about your class. Pretend he is a family member and you have known him for years! When you start a conversation with him just one time. It'll be easier the times after it so you just as well get to it. I hope this helps =)
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