A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I wonder why I am the way I am. Sometimes I stand up for myself, and other times I don't. Sometimes this is because I care too much about what other people think. Like today, I took a CPR course, and then later on came first aid. I was the only one taking the course today in the room. The guy who was teaching me about first aid put so much pressure on my arm that it hurt, but I said nothing, because I worried about what he thought about me. Why do I do this? I become afraid that people will treat me like I am dumb or crazy if I speak up for myself. I wish I could be assertive all of the time, and not just half of the time, but sometimes I talk to myself like "This will soon be over, don't say anything." Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Azula  +, writes (19 July 2009):
 That's the way to go.
Nice start. You have made a step and continue until you can get over it.
Good luck and be ready to face a new you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't really think that I am a doormat, but I would like to be assertive more than just some of the time.
Anyways, I emailed this guy about what he did, something I would rarely ever do (especially since he was someone that I had just met and I was afraid that he would think that I was crazy) and he apologized. He said "I'm sorry if your arm was hurt during the demonstration." I still wish he would've said "I'm sorry that I hurt your arm during the demonstration," but it was better than nothing and I had stood up for myself.
I asked my husband what he meant by his comment, and he cleared it up with me. I also confronted my mom today about how she spends money that I give her for gas.
Thanks for your advice.
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A
female
reader, Azula +, writes (11 July 2009):
It's not an insult, more of a challenge.
Don't be afraid to be hurt, it is part of the whole wide world. Treat it as a challenge that will make you stronger.
Life can be so good always so try to be adventurous and don't be afraid to take the risk.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (11 July 2009):
 I've learned that people respect me much more when I stand up for myself. I do it politely but firmly and not only do people treat me better, they look at me differently. It took a long time and a lot of therapy, but I learned that and I also learned that what I think about me is more important. It was weird at first to stand up for myself, but I was very surprised at people's reactions. It certainly helped me in my relationships, too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think my mind might think that way sometimes, as in just don't say anything it will soon be over because when I was younger I was abused as a child. To this day, because of certain behaviors people keep displaying towards me, I keep holding things in for fear that I will just get hurt more. While I have been more vocal with my mom and my husband, I get comments from them such as "Nearly everything I do hurts you," and "Everyone hurts you. I hurt you, your husband hurts you, etc." Instead of a sorry, I have gotten comments like that which make me hurt even more. I can't say that they never say that they are sorry, just saying that because of these behaviors that I have encountered, I fear that if I take a stand I will only end up getting hurt more. So I hold it in. Then I beat up on myself for not saying anything. Thanks for listening and for your input. It seems as if some evil thing is following me and keeping me in the situation that I am in and that I will never get out. I guess rather than blame the people who hurt me, I'd rather attribute it to a demon possessing or talking to them about my insecurities to hurt me. Sometimes I just wish people loved me for me, you know? I sent my husband an email, and reading the email he asked me why I couldn't be that way in real life. I was trying to do something romantic for him, and here I get insulted. Idk.
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A
female
reader, Azula +, writes (10 July 2009):
Hey your completely me but wait I'm not the one who posted it right? OK! Enough with the jokes.I am not yet capable of removing it and don't have that much of a plan to take it off.Well it's all because this is me. I'm just wandering how can someone in this earth be exactly as me. I guess just the situation.Removing it was not an option for me to give you. It is to know the limitation of keeping silent. There are really situations that you really really need to make a stand not only for the betterment of you.Take the first aid trainer for instance.First aid is to avoid any further injuries or damage to the victim but look what he'd done. He might be responding to a real victims and give them more pain. By letting him know will make a difference. Also doctors, they will not be a help if you won't give them information about yourself.Well that's an exaggeration of examples.Bu the point is to tell you that be vocal.No one will be put to jail by asking or telling.
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