A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had a "girl crush" on a former lecturer of mine, it has almost been 2 years and the feelings do not subside. I honestly do not know what to do, she has not spoken to me once I confessed my feelings(I do not blame her) but I cannot for the life of me, stop thinking about her and I feel I am going insane.How do I get over this? And let the past be the past. I honestly would like to move on but I can't. I have dated men but it has never become serious. She is the only woman I have ever liked and it seems the only person I will never forget. I have contemplated going and speaking to her, but eventually decided against it. Why and how can I speak to somebody who wants nothing to do with me?I need some advice on what I should be doing?And has anybody else gone through anything similar?Any lecturers- how would you approach a former student confessing her confused feelings to you?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2013): OP again, I'm sorry anonymous that you had gone through all that, sounds extremely painful. Wouldn't it have been okay for you to resume contact after you had graduated?
My former lecturer would also run in the opposite direction whenever she saw me, which I didn't understand as this was before I had admitted my feelings. Your story is an eye opener for me, thanks for sharing, mine is nothing in comparison. Again i'm sorry for what you went through, hope your better now.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2013): I'm female, fell in love with my female professor who was 18 years older than myself, showered her in gifts and sweet notes. She had no problem with it until I wrote in a card to her those "3 MAGICAL WORDS, at which time she wrote me and asked me to stop emphasizing it was unethical for she, as my profrofessor, and me, as her student, to conduct such commnication. I ignored her request and continued to do so. She went to the Dean and reported me. I got a formal notice from the Dean stating that I must cease and desist immediately and that I was to have no contact at all with her I would be expelled from the University. I was devastated. I lost 45 pounds. I had to get professional psychiatric help. I was severely depressed for 2.5 years. We would cross on campus whenever she would see me approaching she would literally run the other direction. She lost about 50 pounds immediately thereafter. I could tell whenever we accidently and unexpectantly crossed closely and unexpectantly caught eyes that she looke hurt and felt bad. Fact she could have lost her tenured position that she held for 26 years over some bs. Leave it alone. She can't even if she wants to. It's her livlihood. Love fkn hurts!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2013): Hi,OP again, thanks for your reply Mark. She is straight and I am not expecting to change her sexuality, nor am I looking for a relationship with her; but yes, in a sense it did leave me somewhat confused, I had never had strong feelings for a woman before.I know I need to move on, that is what I have been trying to do! I haven't been hurt by any man, (I would not permit it) funnily enough I've been hurt by a woman rather.I respected her and admired her work, in the end all I wanted was her friendship.I never said it was love, that's a two way street. It is something that I will definitely learn from, something good has to come out of something bad right. I have actually been waiting for the day where I can laugh at myself and think What? But that day just seems to never come. True, I agree she is probably being polite by not saying anything at all, but to be completely honest I would prefer for her to directly tell me :/ it seems the only way i'll get the message.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2013): I am the OP, just in to reply to what you have written, she hasn't ever directly stated that I shouldn't contact her, I am assuming from the none replies.
It has not been half-hearted, I have tried my hardest, I can go a couple of months and then these strong feelings appear on my door step again.
Connection is through the net, I would never call.
To cut out anything would be to cut out life itself because everywhere I go and anything I do reminds me of this person. But thank you for the advice, I will try and re direct my thoughts to something more substantial.
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