A
male
age
30-35,
*erebralCereal
writes:How do I decrease my desire for sex?I have been in a relationship just over a year now and I very cautiously asked my girlfriend about having sex (I was cautious because I didn't want to put on any pressure and because of what has happened in our relationship - which I will get onto into a second). If you can't tell by now, she declined and I was okay with that. But it is starting to pop up in my mind a lot more often and I get a feeling it's because I'm not really satisfied with our sexual activity at the moment because the ratio of me giving her pleasure to me receiving is about 8:1. Also, during the 6 or 7 months we have been sexually active - I have not had an orgasm. It usually exhausts her or we run out of time - so I have to masturbate there and then which I guess doesn't produce the same emotions as if she made me orgasm.Before you ask that I should stop masturbating, I tried not masturbating (twice) for about a week and a half and still no success.The problems we have had are that she used to be very nervous about her innocence and she doesn't like using sexual words (so we have changed the word "horny" into something else etc'). She used to cry a lot when she was receiving pleasure, so I thought that she isn't a sexual person and it isn't a good idea to do these things if she will be upset about them - yet she wanted to continue, and then the same reaction happened many times which was quite the attack on my self-confidence.But is it better now, but she is the one getting all the pleasure now, and I have to ask for my pleasure (which I don't get very often) or just masturbate in front of her. We have to do sexual activities in a certain way which is: She has her orgasm first, then I can so that we reduce the chance of pregnancy.But all of this means there's not enough time for me or nothing happens to me anyway - so my mind turns to sex because I'm seeking satisfactionHow can I solve these issues and reduce my interest in sex?
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male
reader, CerebralCereal +, writes (18 September 2010):
CerebralCereal is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses
@bartmaverick
This is to prevent semen from my masturbation entering her vagina. But to be honest, I have never penetrated her with anything.
@petina1
Her morals seem to come from her piano teacher - and I presume her innocence ideals do as well. I am trying my best to be patient but I do want some pleasure as well - but how do I bring up this subject?
A
male
reader, CerebralCereal +, writes (18 September 2010):
CerebralCereal is verified as being by the original poster of the question@bartmaverick
Well, this measure is to prevent any semen from my hands (after I have masturbated near her) from going onto her vagina (I do not put my fingers in). We have not had any form of intercourse - or even penetration for that matter.
@petina1
I traced her attitude to her piano teacher and friend who has watched her grow up. Her morals about sex come from her and the idea of innocence may have come from her as well.
Thank you for your replies :).
How would you suggest I bring up the topic of me wanting some pleasure as well?
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (18 September 2010):
 Don't worry too much and going into the politics of sex. A good fulfilling sex life with the same person can take years and you two are so young at the moment. Your girlfriend could have issues for the simple reason she is crying during the act. I wonder if she has any bad childhood incidents of abuse or similar. I would just suggest that you take your time and have lots of patience. If you can not make it the be all and end all of your relationship then over time things will rectify themselves through deep love. By the way, masturbation is quite normal, so carry on to your hearts content. Hope this helps
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A
male
reader, bartmaverick +, writes (18 September 2010):
 "She has her orgasm first, then I can so that we reduce the chance of pregnancy."
What do you mean by that? Do you cum in her, because no matter how many orgasms she has had, she can still get pregnant from whatever sperm you have left!
It does seem that she is a very selfish girl, especially as you have taken the trouble, patiently, to help her achieve her own orgasms satisfactorily.
I may have some ideas to help you, but I'll sit back for a moment and see what other responses you get.....
Bart.
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