A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My question is not a problem as such, id just really appreciate some suggestions. I recently had a baby and due to last minute complications I had to have a cesarean which also went wrong. It was quite a traumatic time, especially for my partner as he felt helpless. Anyway everything went ok in the end and we have a beautiful baby boy. Due to the c-section im pretty much relying on my partner for everything, he does all the cooking and cleaning, shopping and driving and helps with the baby whereas all I can do is pretty much feed and care for the baby. My partner has also bought me a beautiful engraved locker with photo's of our baby inside as a keepsake.I cannot put into words how much his help and support means to me right now and I desperately want to do/get something for him to show how much he means to me but because I can't leave the house without him i have no clue what to do. I know I can get a gift off of the Internet for him but I don't know what to get! I want it to be something special, does anyone have any suggestions? Thank you
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (29 July 2014):
 The edible fruit arrangement is nice, but I'd nix the balloons and agree about the flowers. It's a bit over the top. Treating him to a nice dinner when when you've fully recovered is just as good.
Op, it's great that you're husband (that's what I'll call him as 'partner' is overused in my opinion and you're not a lesbian couple) is being helpful and supportive and it's appropriate for you to appreciate his efforts, but as SVC points out, this is what he's supposed to do. You're a team. When he's down, you pick up the slack and when you're down he does it. That's what you both signed up for.
We have to be as careful with praise and compliments as we are with criticism. The subtext of too much gratitude here is 'This is supposed to be MY job and the fact that you're doing it means far more than if I were doing it.' This is hardly the message you want your husband, or your son, to pick up.
Congratulations on your baby boy.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 July 2014):
 He's just doing what all dads do... but it's very sweet of you to want to acknowledge it. Congrats on the baby.
Remember that in addition to giving birth you have just had MAJOR abdominal surgery so don't push yourself too hard or too fast. (both my boys were unplanned c-sections so I feel your pain)
what about sending an edible fruit arrangement to his office... and add some lovely thank you balloons... Men dont' do well with flowers.
Perhaps if there is a lovely picture of you and the baby you could have that framed for his desk....
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