A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend left me because we had issues with my nagging instead of respeting his decision i cryed and made a whole lot of drama for 2 weeks. he got very angry, later he got better and said we should start as friends, we had sex and he said he still loved me. then 2 days after the sex i invited him to a fancy dinner- he said i was "pressuring him back into the relationship" so i called him the next day (today) and said sorry for being "pushy" but i was just beig nice or at least trying... he said he wont forget me but he believes at the moment we shouldnt talk because he doesnt want a relationship...i told him "i hope you forgive me but i cant forgive you, i cannot call you again because you hurt me enough already" i stopped talking to him for 1 week than i called him and he said he was sorry too and meant it. he said he just needed time and space to see if i've changed. he said he still loves me and isn't closing the doors on me forever. Should i give him some time and space and then what do i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): You made at least two mistakes, apart from nagging him.
First, after all the drama, when he was feeling a little better you had sex with him.
Then, after he TOLD you flat-out that he doesn't think the two of you should be talking because he doesn't want to be in relationship with you (how much more direct could he be?)
you then replied that he's hurt you so much that you can't call him, you then turned around and DID call after only one week. I know he apologized, but, hello? Why didn't you wait to see if he would eventually call you??
What do you do now? NOTHING. Leave it alone, and get on with your school activities and other friends. That's what you should be about, anyway, at this time in your life.
A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (9 March 2009):
 To stop nagging I have a system. If my boyfriend does something an I feel like I am going to nag I stop and speak calmy. I tell him what he has done to affect me, how I feel about it and what I need from him and then what action he can take. For example- 'you have just said you want time alone, this makes me feel rejected an neglected, I need more quality time with you, you can have whatever time you need alone and then when we see each other I would like more attention from you.' You have to tell your boyfriend that you are using this method, then he knows that you are making a change. Everyone needs time alone sometimes so don't take it badly unless he is taking you for granted or treating you badly! Keep me updated! X
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