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age
30-35,
*
writes: Ive been with my girlfriend over 7 months, however I told her how I felt about 10 months ago but uni commitments meant that we didn’t become a couple til 7 months agoShe was a family friend as she used to ride horses with my sister who is a couple of years younger than us. My girlfriend however was only actually 1 year younger than me. We got close talking over the phone and internet for nearly 2 years before we became a couple and were good friends before this. A bit about her, well when I first met her she was one of those girls who I considered was out of my league to be honest. I first met her when I was with my previous girlfriend a number of years ago and that was my first reaction. A bit about her she is fairly petite but curvy with a pretty face, she is smart, speaks French and very talented although is a hard worker. She is studying to become a lawyer at university and currently on her placement year at uni at a very prestigious firm in central London which is certainly something to be proud of, she is well spoken, dresses classily, fun to be around and appears confident and outgoing with lots of friends.Ever since I knew her she had a horse called harry, she had owned him for 5 years and worked very hard training him and he was a really nice horse. Tragically however, almost 4 months ago he died very suddenly of a disease called grass sickness. She noticed symptoms one day, he was in surgery by the evening then had to wait 4 days of him being desperately unwell before the diagnosis was confirmed and he had to be put down. I respected her space during this time, was there the minute she wanted me there and did everything I could. I knew how painful the experience was for her as she had all these plans with her horse for the next year. To try and explain, the bond between her and harry was amazing, he was her best friend and she owned him for many years and the pain she was in was the worst thing to see. I know she cried a lot over this time, I started work a number of weeks after this I knew from our parents talking that if she wasn’t doing anything that day she wouldn’t get out of bed, often staying in there for days at a time and I know she became depressed. However she always tried to put a brave face on around me. Once she started work she threw herself into it working long hours but getting some very good results. I know she still gets down about it, last night she came back from visiting her friends from uni who she misses greatly now she is on a placement year. I knew she was very upset so I rang her but she said she didn’t really want to talk about it. This morning she rang me saying sorry but she hates people seeing her so vulnerable as she doesnt want to be a burden or be clingy and annoying.As said she has this strong outer shell, she is cute and pretty she appears confident but I know deep down she isn’t and is afraid to show this in fear that she will get hurt if she does. Before I go on I want to say that I am madly in love with my girlfriend, she is everything I could possibly want and the past 7 months I have been soo happy with her. She is the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing at night, I want her around all the time and am happiest when she is with me, I never want to do anything to hurt her and I want to protect her even when she is at her most vulnerable. How can I show her that she can be vulnerable around me and that she is not a burden and I want her to be dependant on me if that’s what she needs to get over this difficult time?
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best friend, depressed, petite, university Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2011): Just reassure her, tell her you are there for her if she ever wants to talk and tell her she can contact you any time, that she should not worry about being clingy, that you love her and your not going anywhere. Maybe that's all she needs to hear to open up a little.
Good Luck.x
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2011): Your sentiments about her in your question are so genuine and well written perhaps you could send her a card with some flowers as your intentions come across lovely on here! Just repeat it in a letter for her to see : )
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