A
female
age
30-35,
*xxjaydexxxx
writes:i realy dont no what to do anymore im with my boyfriend over a year nowi have done a lot a things on him witch i am really really sorry for.see it hasnt been the same since he found out i cheated on him with my ex but hes even more mad about it because my ex was my first love and i lost it to him so he makes my boyfriend upset and anrgy when he thinks about it and he keeps saying we will move on but other times he turns on me and just goes mad and says am lying about stuff when im not i no he has a right to be mad as its all my falt ! how can i show and pruve how sorry i am ???? HELP PLEASE ?????
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male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (4 June 2009):
 Young lady,
If you were an adult, I would be berating you, but you are not an adult, so to do that would serve no purpose,I want you to learn from it.
You ask how you can fix this? I want to ask you about these feelings of guilt that you have. Yes you have them, but imagine what your BF must feel. It is way worse than you can ever feel at this point. What you feel doesent even come close.
But you are young, so I am not expecting you to fully realize the consequences of your actions.
Although many people will consider this as a "mistake" in the real world it is not. It can only be slightly classified as such because of your age. You will understand this better when you grow older.
There is no way that you will ever be able to prove to him how sorry you are right now. I am not saying its permanent, but not right now.
He is naturally hurt at your actions and you unfortunately must realize that you are reality in no position to demand a time frame for him to forgive you. In fact he may never forgive you.
The lesson I want you to take away from what I have written is to look right this very moment you are reading this to how you feel....I am sure it is not very good.
Throughout your life there will be others in your life. This is surely not your last boyfriend. But the feelings you have now...remember them but remember not only your guilty feelings but the hurt that cheaters cause.
And realize that its not a feeling you want to revisit. In the real world anyone who tells you there is a good excuse for cheating is delusional and stupid. There are amny here on this site that think it's ok. But they are simply full of crap or they themselves are cheaters
Just make sure the next time you are in a position to do this, that you are reminded of this incident and how you feel.
As for your BF, he is struggling with forgiveness. Understand that the term Forgiveness is overrated. He will tell you he does, but he really isn't forgiving you by being angry. And it is his right. After all you cheated on him.
This is not a very fun lesson to learn is it, young lady?
I would consider also that maybe you become celibate and not have any relationships for awhile. You are way too young to be pulling this drama into your life.
Just remember, how would you feel if you BF was the one to stick his penis in another girl???
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