A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I've lied to my partner for nearly 2 years now about my online activities, and after so many fights and break ups I finally came clean and told him the truth,(but still left out a few things as to not hurt his feelings). He did not and still won't believe me. I am not a liar. He now thinks that I'm a dirty slut. This is not true, but he can't see it. I only communicated, but he can't see that just because I was online, doesn't mean I was actually going out and doing the dirty on him.I know I have really messed up our relationship, I feel hopeless and alone, I don't know what to do anymore, my partner is going to leave me, he is always going to think I'm a person that I'm not, the only reason I can go on is because we have a child together and I don`t think I will meet anyone who will take me on. I do love him though.What can I do to save us and make him trust me again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2012): It's not looking good. you lied to him for 2 years, so it's going to take at least 3 times that long for him to trust you again. So you're looking at 6 years minimum before he will trust you and this is if nothing happens that makes him doubt you, which is highly unlikely because once you've broken your partner's trust, you have now turned them into a suspicious paranoid person so they will suspect you even if you're not doing anything wrong this time. and it wouldn't be his fault for being paranoid and suspicious, it would have been your own doing that made him that way.you can't make him trust you, there's nothing you can do that will ensure that. The best you can do is to continue to be honest from now on. Even that might not be enough for him and it could be that your relationship is beyond repair, but anything less from you will for sure guarantee that he will never trust you again.realize that he does not owe you any trust no matter how "good" you are being now. you lied to him for 2 years which is a horrible thing to do. There is just no reason he should ever believe anything you say ever again. because that could be a lie too. even if you insist you're not lying, well THAT could be a lie. I mean, even now you're still witholding some information from him so you're still lying. and you're just trying to get him to trust you again because you dont' think you can get another man to 'take you on' so you're in essence just using him as a security blanket for your own personal benefit.personally if he was the one writing in, I would advise him to leave you now.
A
female
reader, delightful84 +, writes (17 May 2012):
If you actually face up to the cause then maybe you may find a cure. You HAVE NOT come clean because you have missed out truths and by the way it sounds, he knows about these truths anyhow. If you cannot grasp what you did wrong then you probably are better breaking up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2012): u may be expecting too much if u lied for two years. that is a long time and a lot of lies. it sounds like u dont actually realise what u have done wrong. it should not be about getting him to trust u, it should be about u being a better partner. it will be very difficult to salvage now. i would work on u cos until u do, u will be in many more bad situations like this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2012): You don`t think you`ll meet anyone else (who`s daft enough) to take you on. You cheat online and oh yeah, you love him of course (lol). You have left things out yet believe you`re not a liar? You may somehow be able to make sense of your behaviour and why you believe what you do but I can`t. Give him a break and let him go.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (17 May 2012):
 He needs time, his trust has been broken.
In one end i can understand his lack of trust in you as you were going behind his back talking to these other guys
in another I see how you feel as you did not *physically* cheat.
Either way your husband is going to need time to forgive you and then move into trusting you.
You can only be remorseful for what you did; explain you want things to work out with him; and ask him to forgive you.
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