A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, recently I found about my boyfriend had a few flings about a year ago, and was into really kinky painful sex. He would wake up covered in bruises and bite marks. My boyfriend and I don't have a realstionship like that, ours is passionate and gentle... I feel as though maybe I should roughen up our love life, but I can't bring myself to bruise someone I love, or hurt someone like that...and I wouldn't know how....can anyone give me any advice how I can roughen it up in the bedroom?Thanx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): Just because he done it with a ex dosen't mean he'll want to do it with you. Maybe he dosen't want to go down that route with you and really, do you want sex like that?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): I have trouble following your thinking.
"I feel as though maybe I should roughen up our love life"
Why exactly do you feel like this? Has he expressed interest in this kind of thing? Or is it just some kind of unfounded assumption? Or were these flings something that happened while you were going together -- meaning that he was dissatisfied with your plain gentle lovemaking?
Sorry, I just can't see the problem.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): You could arrive at the bedroom door dressed in black leather skimpies adorned with chains, wearing thigh boots and gauntlets and carrying a bullwhip, but be prepared for him to leap out of the bedroom window screaming in terror!
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (21 October 2008):
 Are you sure he liked it, maybe he was with someone and had no choice?
Before you go down this road, be very carefull what you start, because unless you are BOTH into this kind of stuff it can lead to all manner of problems, that will ruin your relationship.
Just because he happened to be into this before, doesnt mean he has to do it with you.
There is an old saying that I believe to be very true!
"If it aint broke, dont try to fix it"
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