A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for a good few months now blissfully in a gay relationship...at first sex was amazing and I never had issues - now however, I dont seem to be able to do much to her. She says she loves it and I really turn her on, we swap sex texts and things are great, but I am getting hung up on I dont feel I can do it for her. She is more experienced than me, which shes never held against me but I just want to rock her world, she tries different things with me and I can always finish everytime but she has trouble and I have trouble finding what she likes or wants. I have asked her and she says just do what you do already but I want to make her scream, I want her hanging to the headboard - what can I do to give her a time she wont forget
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2014): My advice for you is try something new. If you doubt yourself cannot give her the pleasure she wants/longs for, my recommendation is ask her to masturbate. It's actually a kinky activity between a couple. Ask her to pleasure herself the way she would do if she's not with you, then you can watch and learn from her move. It will turn the both of you on and you can experience how she wants or likes to be touched in bed.
I totally agreed with Cerberus. Don't put your expectation so high up without an accurate clue of what your partner really wants. Try not to be too nervous/anxious. Sex is supposed to be fun and playful between two people.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2014): Some people don't do the screaming, lose control thing, OP. In fact lots don't. I've been with women who were silent during orgasms, tensing their bodies or gripping tighter with a large exhalation was the only sign they were having an orgasm. Not everyone does hollywood sex.
You need to trust her when she says she loves it and you really turn her on. There is no problem here for her only your expectations which are pointless.
You're saying at first sex was amazing, what's changed? Why do you somehow feel it's not amazing anymore?
Talk it out with her out, tell her how you feel and if she says everything is fine then trust her.
Other than that there are plenty of sites that have sex tips and ones that are even specific to lesbian sex. OP it's never a bad thing to want to please your partner, it's never a bad thing to experiment and try new things. But expectations can be dangerous when you set them too high. You don't need to be screaming and tearing someone's back apart to enjoy sex, this may sound strange but plenty of women don't like to be taken to that kind of point of orgasm either because it can be too overwhelming. I've been stopped plenty of times at the point right before that happens, especially by squirters.
Trust me, as a man I know better than most that desire to rock a woman's world, but I also know you cannot let that be a negative that makes you question your sexual prowess. It's a positive desire that when channelled correctly means you'll always be eager to learn and please, but you're letting it become a negative issue that's making you feel a bit inadequate and like a failure. She says you're not, so trust her and just keep trying to please but get rid of this idea that it has to be a goal.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2014): Once you learn her spots based on her reaction during sex take your time and listen. Her breathing may change she may rub your head or open her legs wider she may even buck her hips towards your mouth all of which are good signs to keep up what you're doing. The goal shouldn't be to bring her to extreme orgasm. The goal should be to enjoy exploring her body the ultimate closeness. As you enjoy exploring her you will no doubt began to see signs. Always vary it up a bit with how you work your tongue and fingers. Never mind her g spot focus on her crystal ball also known as clit. Focus on enjoying other areas of her body before you go for the gold. She may love tit play, and if she does suck lick tease and caress her breast. Run your hands over her body while your pleasuring her breast. Run your hands down pass her stomach over her thighs deliberately not touching her vagina keep teasing her until she begin to move her hips up as you run your hand down her thighs. Start off with soft lite licks and she will show u she wants more. Then begin by adding a little pressure to your licks with lite suction. Use your tongue as u suction her clit. Don't forget to use your lips too as u are using your tongue and good suction. Vary it and circle feels so good. I hope the moderator actually approve this because it is actually what you are asking and I am not being explicit but detailed. But you will please her better as long as you two can communicate what feels good and what feels better. Toys never hurt either. Best wishes.
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