A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Me and this lady at work were flirting with each other for a good few months and then I decided to ask her out. Big mistake! She hasn't spoken to me since and won't even look at me. This has gone on for a couple of months now. She must know that her cold shoulder approach is hurting me. Does anyone have any tips on how I can ride out this difficult period? I basically want to show her that I don't need her (even if I do! ;o) ). How shall I act? Shall I simply hold up a mirror to her behaviour i.e. act exactly the same in return? She's married by the way. Like I said: big mistake! Thanks for your help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (26 September 2008):
 I think it would be wise to treat her exactly as you would treat any other co-worker, male or female. Hard as it may be, you're going to have to put the personal feelings aside and concentrate on your work. If she can manage to work there with you still there, you should be able to as well.
Honestly, the best thing is to be placid, neutral, calm, ignore her cold shoulder by dealing only in a professional manner with her. If you try to do the mirror thing, you're going to be too obvious. Go on about your business, interact with her as needed for the job. That's all you can do. If you're having problems doing this, pretend you're an actor in a role and go through the motions that way.
I expect you've learned a huge lesson from this, must be painful. Good luck.
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