A
male
age
30-35,
*urch
writes:Ok, I'll try to make this as understandable as I can. Basically, I have liked a girl for some time. Back in grade 7 she asked me to dance at our schools Halloween dance, and I just fell in love. She had liked me for some time before that mostly because a lot of the other boys picked on her a lot and I was the only one who was nice to her. Anyways, fast forward to grade 9. We just get into high school and we're pretty good friends. Soon, she starts dating a guy we'll call him Brad. By around the beginning of grade ten she had completely forgotten about me and we never even talked. So, I dealt with it dated some girls, her and Brad split,and I thought it was my chance, but they quickly got back together. It's now the beginning of grade 12. Brad being a year older than us has left to college but it's not far away. Last night me, her and a couple other friends went out to dinner and wandered around town after for my best friend's birthday. That was the first time her and I had hung out together in a long time. And I felt like she wanted us to hang out more, something that she's told me several times at parties where she's usually drunk. Anyways, today they broke up! I'm very happy. But I don't know what to do, hence the boring mile long paragraph you see before you. I suppose I just need a way of getting close to her and somehow making those 5 year old feelings come back to the surface. I can't help but feel that this is my last chance to be with her, being that this is our last year of high school. So, if you have any advice I would hugely appreciate it. Thank You.
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female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (18 September 2010):
 Always happy to help hunny xxxxxxxx
A
male
reader, Murch +, writes (18 September 2010):
Murch is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for saying that. I wasn't 100% sure I did everything right.
Actually, Jill (I may as well tell you her name now)and her girl friend who happens to be a very good friend of mine asked me for a night at the movies tonight. My friend picked me up and texted Jill to tell her we were on our way. And being that I am very good friends with her she tells me things that she probably shouldn't. And she told me Jill was really happy that I was coming along. Then she told me that she shouldn't have told me that.
Anyways, after some driving, chatting, and usual flirting we get to the theatre. We get in and Jill and I sit next to each other and before the trailers start she starts to tell me about how today she ran in to her ex. She sort of ignored him, got into her car, and started to drive away. She pulled over pretty quickly as she was starting to cry. Her ex came up to her and they apparently had somewhat of a civil conversation. Although, she was still pretty sad about it afterwords. Then she told me that she feels like she's getting better and she's starting to get over it. So that was pretty great to hear.
So, we went shopping a little after the movie and the whole night was pretty great. At a few little points, I guess I felt like I was more "one of the girls" then anything else, but all together it was fun.
So, I guess to sum things up: I feel great. I was a little insure about what might happen in the future, but after tonight I at least feel better about it. And I'll try to live more in the now as you advised. Anyways, I'm very happy, and that is thanks in no small part to you. So, thank you. :)
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (17 September 2010):
You did good hunny, Dont think to far ahead just try and let things fall into place slowly and wait untill you feel she has healed enough for you to ask her out, Women always appreciate a kind ear and a kind heart :) Here is hoping that you will have some good news for me TAKE CARE WITH LOVE YOUR OLD MATE MANDY XXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, Murch +, writes (15 September 2010):
Murch is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHaha, you did!
Um, actually today was kind of amazing.
We have the same spare together and it was first period today. We were the only ones in the cafeteria and I just went and sat with her, chatted, and did some homework.
Then the next period we had study hall and we sat and did some work in the library together. A girl friend of hers came in and I guess they hadn't spoken since the break up so the friend was asking how she was and everything. I tried not to eavesdrop
Once, her friend left she said "Sorry about that" because she was getting a little upset. So I said it was fine and I asked her if she was ok. Then she actually started to confide in me. I mean maybe it's not a big deal, but I knew that that was something I would have to do if I stood any chance of being with her, but I never thought it would actually happen, being that we've kind of been out of touch for so long. And when she was talking I just looked her in the eyes and listened, because I knew that's what she wanted. So I think I did things right. Then, when we left the library she thanked me for asking if she was ok
I know that it'll take time and I'm ok with that. To be honest, I would be ok with not dating her this year, but then we would go off to different schools. I just want to at least establish a friendship that would last through those years apart so that something might form afterwords. She's really that kind of girl that I would be willing to wait for.
On the other hand, I don't want her to form another long-term relationship before I get my chance. Which is a pretty big possibility if we were just long-distance friends for four years rather than long-distance partners.
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (15 September 2010):
Hi Hunny
I found you!!!!!
This may well be your chance, But at the same time she may be upset because of the split. So I would advise that as you know her maybe try and be there for her as a friend, See how things go from there and then see if there is a chance...If you can be patient which I no you have been after 5yrs then a little help and understanding would go down alot more than just trying to maybe ask her out straight off...She may well need a little time hunny..Hope this helps..Nice to here from you again with love MANDY XXXXXXXX
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