A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, I had a best friend and we were really close. But then after two years I decided to end the friendship because things had become very toxic. I could not trust him, he was nasty to me, he was always putting me down, etc. Anyway, a few months later this friend sends me a letter asking for closure as to why i ended the friendship and if there was any possibility we could continue being friends. I told him no and he respected my decision. Now, about a year after that letter, he comes back in my life and tries to be my friend. I heard that his cousin was sick (could be dying) and i felt sorry for my friend, so i said he can call me any time if he needs someone to talk to... But now he's always sending me messages - not to talk about his cousin but just to say that he wants to meet me for coffee. I told him honestly that i can't meet him but he keeps asking. The other day i asked if i could please have his cousin's number just to send him my best wishes for recovery, but my friend said no. I don't know if he's lying about his cousin being sick, but i wouldn't put it past him because he has done terrible things of deception in the past. However, that is not my problem. My problem is that i don't know how to get him to stop texting me. I don't want to be rude and say we should not talk (also because i'm afraid of his reaction... we live in the same city), but i don't want to be friends! I feel badly for his cousin but that should not mean i have to be friends with him after everything bad he did in our friendship years ago. I just want to know how i can put him off talking to me without being horrible. Bear in mind this person doesn't care that i vanished, doesn't care that i blocked all his friends and him on faceboook when our friendship ended,and even now that i've told him speaking to him is weird, he still doesn't leave me alone. It's like he's desperate for a freindship and that is troubling ot me. Thank you for your help and for listening! Any advice much appreciated xxx Carly
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 October 2012):
 You could slowly phase out talking to him all together. Which means if he sends you a text ignore it for a few days or ignore it all together.
Or you can do the easy way, get a new number and/or block him.
I really don't think you "owe" him an explanation as to why you don't want to talk to him. IF you don't want to talk to him, then don't.
A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (24 October 2012):
 I really do think that the only thing that you can do in this situation is to be brutally honest with him. Tell him how it is, that you don't want him to contact you anymore, please stop all the texts. I know you say that you are affraid of his reaction, but if you want him to stop contact being honest with him is the only way. After you vanished, deleted all his friends from facebook, told him its weird talking to him, most guys would take the hint and cease contact, as he hasen't shows a strong desperation. I think after you have been brutally honest with him and he still keeps on, which sounds like he will, i think you should consider changing you mobile number and email address.
Good luck
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