A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a 21-year-old man, I am currently in training having graduated in business systems at university, and I enjoy what I do.Recently, an 19-year-old girl, who I thought was a friend of mine told me she was pregnant and that I was the father of her baby.I told her this was complete nonsense, as I've never had sex in my life at all, and I wouldn't have had the time to have sex anyway, considering I'm travelling all over the country for my job.She keeps insisting that I am the father of her baby.At least when I'm in work I don't have to think about it, probably because I enjoy my job.How should I deal with this situation?? I'm happy in work, it's outside work that I become upset a lot because of this situation.I tried counselling and it didn't work... what should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): You could try contacting the Child Support Agency and see what they say. They've a reputation for being pretty useless, but it's worth a try.
I know someone who disputed paternity and it turned out he was the father after all, following a DNA test. Because he was the father he had to pay for the test which was about £150 at the time - 8 years ago.
Had he not been the father it wouldn't have cost him at all. I'm not sure in that case who would have got the bill, the CSA or her, but it wouldn't be you in your case if you've never had sex!
And by the way, the previous answer is nonsense.
Phil
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): you have to be extremely careful because if she puts your name on the birth certificate you could end up paying support for this child whether the father or not.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): Just turn around say "fair enough, when the baby is born I want a DNA test". Call her out, she'll realise that if she does the test that it'll confirm you're not the father, and she's a liar. And if she refuses, say "well you can't be that sure I am the father then, otherwise you'd have no problem with the test". Basically force her into a corner where she has no choice but to confirm you aren't the father or be exposed as a great big liar in 9 months time.It's a shame when you have to think about resorting to stuff like this, but this girl is about to be a mother, so she really does need to grow up and face responsibility, and this includes facing the real father. Maybe she doesn't particularly like the father, is ashamed of sleeping with him, or doesn't want him involved in the baby's life. Maybe she's turning to you as the person whom she feels would be a better father- but it doesn't work that way. Offer her your friendship and support through this time, but be firm in telling her that you are not the father and if she continues this behaviour then you will be requesting that DNA test.
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (25 November 2007):
 Hi, this is a strange thing to have said to you. If you are a virgin, then you can not be the father. She maybe just wants their to be a father to her unborn child. You need to tell her that this child is not yours, as you are a virgin, and she needs to leave you alone. I hope i helped, Feel free to mail me about anything :) x
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