A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:this girl i've been with said that she always fakes her moaning during sex, because she's very hard to please and has never reached orgasum through sex or through oral sex... is this normal, how can I 'pleasure her'
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (3 September 2009):
 Some women only achieve orgasm through masturbation. Its just a problem that has to be worked on. One way to do this is to observe, take mental notes and have her tell you what it is exactly that she enjoys without the fake drama.
If you take the time, and it does take time to do this, you will find out that she will eventually be open enough and trusting to let you give her orgasms.
That is what you really want to do anyway.
Part of it is a mental block. Its sort of a performance anxiety thing. Some people are particular about what stimulates them, and how. And its a very private thing to begin with. So intimacy is a must and you can't do that without trust and I mean a gracious plenty of it.
Let me make a suggestion. Before getting right into the act up front, you want to set aside 3 or four hours of time when both of you are really relaxed and happy. Being in a good mood going in sets the tone. You don't want to try and induce an orgasm if you're both stressed, angry or have any negative emotions. You want it to be nice and quiet and happy.
Try kissing and exploring. My experience is that women enjoy having all of the parts of their bodies gently kissed, and some parts are particularly sensitive.
She should know where she enjoys being kissed the most. Nice gentle kisses.
Hold her close, be very gentle and loving. Your hands should be in places that will send goosebumps all over, like her shoulders, her back, down her spine.
Try touching her gently all over. Just a nice touch so that she can feel you all around her.
She wants to open up to you, and if she is receptive and turned on, then she will be naturally orgasmic.
The key here is paying attention to her body and what its telling you, and listening to her tell you what she loves having done to her.
If you try this first, then all of the rest will fall naturally into place and she will be grateful to have had all of your attention focused on her.
It isn't just a couple of sex organs grinding away. Its a whole body experience and you have to be prepared to hold her and share in her pleasure as much as possible. That's why they call it love making. You are making it together. In other words, it takes the two of you to make this her best experience ever.
Take your time with her and she will enjoy every minute of it. The very act of intimacy itself is going to please her right there, and get her ready for more.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): Practice makes perfect - ask her what she wants you to do.
Failing that, buy her a nice pair of shoes. She should be pleased with that.
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