A
male
age
36-40,
*ailam52
writes:So my question is, i've only had sex with one girl, so i'm not "experienced" like that. How can I please a woman to the point where she could have an orgasm? I heard something about an inch into the vagina, if you put your finger in there and touch the upper wall and slowly pull back, you can feel a hard spot. And that spot is what gives them the most pleasure? Besides penetration, what can I do orally to please her? Or even with my fingers? I just want to please a partner if she's going to please me, I gotta return the favor ya know? hehe
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 November 2009):
 Also, I would recommend that you read some of the posts by "DoubleM". Type his name and the word "cunnilingus" into the search box on the upper right hand side of the page.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 November 2009):
Think of her clitoris as a very tiny and sensitive penis; her vagina has some nerve ending inside the first third, including the somewhat controversial "G-spot", which most researcher would consider as the "root" of the clitoral structure. It's not some sort of magic orgasm button for every woman, though, sorry to destroy that idea.
I have some links for you to read. I also want you to find out if she knows how to bring herself to orgasm, because if she doesn't, then it's very unlikely you'll be able to. She has to understand her own sexual response in order to teach you what pleases her. Each woman is individual and has her own preferences (if she knows them yet) and what works for one may not work for another.
Communicate, communicate, explore, experiment.
Most of a woman's sexual response is in her brain, remember that. Her brain can get in the way of enjoying sex, letting go, by allowing interfering thoughts in. Your goal is to get her brain to be relaxed, excited to be with you and the internal censor ('You shouldn't be doing THAT!' for example) switched 'off'.
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From: http://men.webmd.com/guide/sex-fact-fiction
If sex myths have such power over men's thinking about their own anatomy, they have even more sway when it comes to female partners' bodies -- especially the much-debated G-spot.
Named after a German doctor, Ernst Gräfenberg, who first wrote about an erogenous zone in the anterior vaginal wall, the G-spot was popularized by a 1982 book called ... The G-spot. This region behind the pubic bone is often credited as the trigger for a vaginal (vs. clitoral) orgasm, and even a catalyst for female ejaculation.
At the same time, the G-spot is commonly derided as perpetuating the myth ensconced by Sigmund Freud -- namely, that the clitoral orgasm is a "lesser" form of climax than the vaginal orgasm, which requires penile penetration. As Ian Kerner summarizes, "In Freud's view, there were no two ways about it: If a woman couldn't be satisfied by penetrative sex, something must be wrong with her."
The G-spot's existence is still debated, and whether it's fact or fiction depends on whom you ask.
"The G-spot exists," says Seth Prosterman. "It's a source of powerful orgasm for a percentage of women."
"I don't think the G-spot exists," says Ira Sharlip. "As urologists, we operate in that area [where the G-spot should be] and there just isn't anything there -- there's no anatomical structure that's there."
Prosterman and others point out the importance of thinking of the G-spot in context -- that it may be an extension of the clitoral anatomy, which extends back into the vaginal canal. Kerner writes that the G-spot may be "nothing more than the roots of the clitoris crisscrossing the urethral sponge."
Helen O'Connell, MD, head of the neurourology and continence unit at the Royal Melbourne Hospital Department of Urology in Australia, says, "The G-spot has a lot in common with Freud's idea of vaginal orgasms. It is a sexual concept, this time anatomical, that results in confusion and has resulted in the misconception that female sexuality is extremely complex."
In the end, whether this debated locus of pleasure is fact or fiction may not matter that much. O'Connell, who is also co-author of a 2005 Journal of Urology study on the anatomy of the clitoris, says that focusing on the G-spot to the exclusion of the rest of a woman's body is "a bit like stimulating a guy's testicles without touching the penis and expecting an orgasm to occur just because love is present." She says focusing on the inside of the vagina to the exclusion of the clitoris is "unlikely to bring about orgasm. It is best to think of the clitoris, urethra, and vagina as one unit because they are intimately related."
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From: http://www.malehealth.co.uk/userpage1.cfm?item_id=153#moresexy
Women can orgasm just from intercourse.
FALSE. Just plugging your penis into a woman’s vagina and wiggling it around may be enough to make some women orgasm but many will probably just lie there thinking about what they’d rather be watching on television. Even though most men have probably heard that women require clitoral stimulation in order to achieve an orgasm, they sometimes act as if they don’t really believe it.
The thing is that unless you’ve got a double-headed penis, it’s difficult to have vaginal intercourse and stimulate the clitoris directly at the same time. That matters, because when it comes to a woman’s orgasm, the clitoris is what really counts.
The visible part of the clitoris, located at the top of a woman’s external genitals, is usually about the size of a small pea. But it’s recently been discovered that the entire organ is very much larger. In fact, the visible ‘glans’ is connected to a hidden ‘body’ which is about as big as the first joint of the thumb. This body, in turn, has two ‘arms,’ each up to three-and-a-half inches long. Although the full role of the clitoris isn’t yet understood, it’s clear that it’s at least as sensitive as the penis and just as significant during sex; indeed, both get bigger during sexual arousal. This shouldn’t be surprising since both the clitoris and the penis are actually formed from the same tissues during our early days as a foetus.
Just as men’s preferences for penile stimulation vary, so do women’s preferences for their clitoris. Some find direct touching too sensitive while others like it to be rubbed or licked quite vigorously. No book can tell you how best to turn on a woman; you need to ask her to show or tell you. If she’s willing to masturbate while you watch, this will give you very valuable clues.
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From: http://men.webmd.com/features/6-sex-mistakes-men-make
Most guys know generally what a clitoris is and where to find it. That's not to say that they really understand it.
More than 30 years ago, at the start of the "sexual revolution," a best-selling book called the Joy of Sex got Americans hip to the orgasmic importance of the clitoris. But the belief that women must be able to orgasm from vaginal penetration stubbornly persists.
"I still get letters from people who say things like, my wife can't [orgasm] from intercourse unless she has clitoral stimulation -- please help," Taormino says. "I want to write back and say, 'OK, what's the problem?'"
"For the majority of women, it's not going to happen that way," Paget says.
Men also lack information about how to touch it and how sensitive it is, Taormino says.
A touch that's bliss for one woman may feel like nothing special, or may even be painful for someone else. Some prefer indirect stimulation.
How can you find out how she likes to be touched? Try asking her.
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From:
http://men.webmd.com/guide/sex-fact-fiction------------
From me: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/advice-to-young-men-about-young-women.html
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A
female
reader, KQM  +, writes (13 November 2009):
 Ask her what she likes, believe me when I tell you, nobody else knows her body better than she does. Dont be shy, tell her how you feel and that you want to please her.
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