A
female
age
30-35,
*ade_p
writes:I need some help... I have a boyfriend who i am very much in love with... But i have a big problem and thats that I get really paranoid about absolutely everything! The thing is i dont he would cheat, like now im writing this but im asking myself why as he is the nicest guy in the world and i dont believe that he would do it yet about half an hour ago i was in tears on the phone to him thinking that he had lied to me about going out last night as i saw his mate who he is away withs status saying they had been out 3 hours after he told me he was going to bed, i asked him and he said he was in bed when i spoke to him then they decided to go out... which i dont mind as its up to them what they do but obviously when i read it i was thinking the worst... but what i dont get is how one minute we will be cuddling and whatever and then in a matter of minutes I will turn into a paranoid wreck again =[ I have been hurt alot in the past... all but 1 of the guys i have been with cheated on me and my boyfriend now is the second one that hasnt. but its got to the point where it is really messing things up... for exampleHe doesnt answer the phone - I automatically think we are either over or something has happened to him that then causes me to keep calling then it ends in an argument as he thinks i dont trust him - then becuase we have argued i then start worrying that he will end thingsbut other things are like he will pretend to get mad at me, only playing as he would never lay a finger on me yet i still get scared by it. i just dont get it... i always think the worst of everything and when i see something i always dig deeper to find an answer! but i dont want to be like that i really love hima and if i carry on the way i am then things are going to come to an end... He works away alot so i speak to him every night on the phone and the other day he started saying will you murry mint (will you marry me) but then he was like would you marry me and he was joking but its really wierd as i keep dreaming that he will, but the thing is i keep wanting to say yes... i tell him to be quiet but i cant help but think i want to be with him forever! i just dont want to scare him away =[
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female
reader, Littlebitt  +, writes (1 September 2008):
I think for yourself, before you ruin it for this guy, You should seek counseling. You need to take a step back and take care of number one. Thats you. Time doesn't heal nothing. Time only heals people when they are ready to move on. And it shows you never have moved on. Put your self in your guy shoes, If he was doing this to you, how would you feel? Another question you need to ask yourself, Do you think your being fair to him?
A
female
reader, Aunty Em +, writes (1 September 2008):
 By thinking the worst, you are giving him reason to commit the worst. You're young, just chill out. Take everything as it comes, by stride. You're very young to commit to a marriage! Of which, I don't think would last when you're in the paranoid state that you are. Relax a lot more, and let the relationship between you two grow. Trust him. He's given you no reason not to.
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