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How can I open up to my mum more?

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 April 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 April 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm not a very open person about anything really, I like to keep things to myself and that's the way I've always been. I'm close with my family, but not "close-close" I can't tell my mum anything, and I don't feel right talking about a lot with her; even though I know she loves me. I went through a phase which often comes back where I'm really low, and I started to harm myself, and it was only because she read my diary that she found out, and even though she was kind of supportive, I think she was more surprised and didn't take it very seriously, which has given me even more reason not to talk to her about things.

I've been with my boyfriend a year now who's almost 16 and I'm 15, and we've been sexually active for about 6 months. I'd love to tell her, and her be okay with it and give me advice and guidance, but I know this will never happen and I probably wouldn't be left alone with him again. I just want to tell her maybe that we're thinking of having sex, or that we've been together a while, we love each other and we think were ready, it's something we both want to do and so on. The pill would be a great idea for us, but the only way I'd go on it was if she knew, because it would be too much of a faff hiding it every day.

I hate being so secretive, I'm always scared someones going to find out, and I don't want it to be like this, I'm just scared of her reaction.

It kind of upsets me when I here that most girls I know can talk to their mum about anything, and I can't; whether it's just me I don't know, I just want it to be out in the open.

Has anyone else been in this situation? If so how did it go? And any other advice on how I could go about it would be great.

Thanks x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009):

Hi honey, If you only worried to ask a permission to your mom" that yu wanna use birth control pills! Please go and tell it to her. I promise you she will understand it.. Its better to be open and the only person who can guide you in this very delicate situation is only your mother.. Just do it. Let your mother know that you trust her too and she will trust you too. Trust me, because i have a daughter the same age as you and i want her to be very open to me in anything so i can support her in any cases too. Goodluck dear..

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (20 April 2009):

I've been in exactly your situation... and unfortunately for me, it just never got better.

I never had a mum I could talk to and I went on the pill at 17 without her ever knowing. It was just a matter of taking it at 11 at night (a time I was very very rarely with her, and if I was I'd just go to the loo.) and just keeping the packet in my bag or my pants draw.

But you know what, although I was very jealous of the friends I had that could talk to their mum about this stuff... in the long run it's made me stronger.

I don't worry about where I move to in the world, I don't miss her company so I could go to Uni where I wanted, I can do what I want and I don't dither and need her approval all the time.

I am a very independent person now, and I think if you can get through the difficult teen stage then you'll find you are too.

Good Luck!! xx

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