A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So here is my story. I will cut some stuff out but it will be a long one.My ex and I started dated for about 5 months. It had been a while since I had been with anyone and she had not been with anyone seriously since her divorce about a year ago. Her ex was a little abusive, physically and emotionally. That is what brought us together, I was there when she needed someone.While we were seeing each other we got along wonderfully and we never had a single argument, not one. We'd bust each others balls a bit from time to time, jokingly most of the time. The one-day a little over a month ago I yelled at her about something that was trivial and just dumped on her for a minute. The whole thing happened in the amount of time it took us to walk maybe 25yrds.She didn't say much the rest of the day and when I apologized, she said thank you but I need a little time to deal with this. I wasn't happy to hear this but I respected her decision. A couple of days later after very little contact, I sent her some flowers, which was a huge mistake, I then received a text saying she couldn't see me anymore right now. Hindsight,right? Then a couple of days later we had one phone call where she was going to explain what what going on with us. However it just turned into me apologizing again and her saying how much it hurt her. We ended it with her saying we could be together again but we'd have to work on it, maybe a fresh start.In the month since then, we have seen each other several times due to our jobs. We flirt with each other, have nice conversations, talk about problems, etc. Things have all seemed somewhat OK to me since she is still acting this way. Outside of work the has been virtually no contact other than a couple of random texts about nothing and onebrief phone call.The first couple of weeks were really hard due to having a nice time then not hearing from her at all, then things started getting a little better for me. I started trying to do things, improve myself, and all that. It didn't really get my mind off her at all but I at leastfelt a little better. Then this week it started all over again. I really started missing her and since it had been over a month with out any real idea of what's going on from her end, I started to worry myself about waiting too long to whatever I can do (which is a confusing one as well).I really love this girl and miss her and I've done a lot of thinking about what happend over the relationship and not just the fight. I know I didn't do a great job of showing her How much she meant while we were together, a terrible mistake. I did show her, just not as much as I should have. I said some things right after the break that I should have said long before it got to that point and I really regret it.I do want her back and I really believe that the two of us can make this work. Ijust want the chance to show her how much I care and love her and how, even though I walked on egg shells about it at first, the two ofUpdate: us want the same things out of life. Iwant nothing more than to have a family, enjoy life, and enjoy the world and I want to do all these this with her.What is your take on the situation and what kind of advice do you have to get the chance I seek to show her how much she means to me? Please no move on, enjoy life, find someone else sort of things. I realize this is probably the easiest option and mostlikely, so I don't need to hear it again and again.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 October 2011):
 Realistically couples are going to have arguments it is just a part of life and she kind of over reacted a bit if am honest. Ok she has the right to be annoyed and angry for a day or two but really if you both where to break up after each argument then it is never going to work. Really there is only one way around this and that is to tell her exactly how you are feeling. At the end of the day you have apologised to her there is nothing more that you can do, and it is not fair on you to wait around forever for her. So you need to tell her exactly how you feel about her, how you want to spend your life with her and ask her where do you stand. Its the only thing that you can do, good luck.
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