A
female
age
36-40,
*k05
writes: I stay in Mumbai, India. I have got engaged with one guys but I don’t want to marry with that person as I love some else who is married person and has 1 child but he is divorced. I have informed them about this to my parent they are against it they say that I have to marry with the person with whom I have engaged and not with the person I love. They say if I will do this it they will suicide (they are emotionally black mailing me). We both love each other but family is not ready for this marriage. The person whom i got engaged even he say that I have to marry him because I got engaged with him. Please suggest me a way that I can marry the person whom I love lot without losing my family pride or status in society. And please don’t disclose my name to any one its request to you. Please suggest me some way so that I can explain my family member and get married with person whom I love a lot. Please please help me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2010): It's been fashion in Indian Girl to engage someone and get married another one. I tell this because There is rapid rise in engagements called off. Most Indian Girls are always in Dilemma. They like the status of GOOD GIRL in society who respects elder and live accordingly.
You were in dilemma when you engaged and you still are.
Why do you behave like this?
Once you will marry to Divorsed person you will feel the same way. Love to another male who is younger and not married
I sometimes fail to realize why so many questions are posted on dearcupid website by FEMALE ?
Are female demand much more than they deserve ?
From : Jayesh
A
male
reader, bharat mehta +, writes (8 May 2010):
A family- is emotionally more powerful force. In orthodox society, a Individual is not marrying to another individual, but a individual is marrying to a family, and family is unit of what we call 'society'.
So, marriage is not a spiritual event in Individual's life, actually it should be, but it is not in social reality.
You have only one way, that is to take legal protection, otherwise society will not allow you to live in your chosen marriage. Society kill young couple who make their choice. Such events are daily news paper item in India.
Orthodox people are not able to see any wisdom in reason, freedom and realization. Orthodoxy is in a habit to rule...for the sake of rule only.
Well,...I am in favor of Individual, so I am with you and with your choice also, and advice to learn the high values of reasoning mind also.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (8 May 2010):
If you want to marry a divorced man with a child , you will have to move far far away from your parents and make a new start.
You may even have to say goodbye to your parents and never see them again.
I don't see any other way that you can convince your parents to allow you to marry the man you love. Your parents will never accept that because they have betrothed you to someone and cannot break it off or they would lose face.
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