A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I hope to get a female perspective on my wife's ideas. Our relationship has been very stormy for a few months. Such as: she stopped wearing her ring, says she doesn't want to be married, wants to talk to guy's on the phone in total privacy, is interested in someone(last week),wants to go out and not call me when she's out (in the past). See.....lot's of things. For my part, I am nearly insane, very mad and insecure. We have a 11 month old baby. We have been together a little over 3 years. I have worked about 1 year in the past 4 years. So, I know there is no one guy. She does not drive. We are/were together all the time. OK.. I am guilty of really not paying attention and not pleasant to her the last 6 weeks. Before and about 2 years after we got married she would go out (not drinking or clubbing)with her close guy friend. We moved, it's not possible for her to see him now. I asked her to go out with girlfriends. She replied she prefers guys for friends. See where this is going... Thats where it started and then over a couple of months we would go food shopping, I would get the car and she would come out with some guys phone number. I accidentally came across these. She didn't deny it, but would accept them. She is absolutely convinced this is fine due to no sex with anybody. My wife is 25 and gorgeous. So...I know men will aways try. The men trying do not anger me, I've had plenty of practice because my previous girlfriend was a model. We are getting back together in a couple days. How can I make this work?
View related questions:
clubbing, insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): You are allowing her to continue these inappropriate behaviours by remaining in the situation and not setting healthy boundaries. What she is doing is not ok and you need to be asking yourself how much longer you can do this for? You have a baby that needs your full attention and I would start to think about the possibility of a seperation because this is not healthy for anyone. Ground yourself in your place of power as opposed to an insecure position and initiate change in this situation. Be prepared to move in another direction.
If by chance you decide together that you truly want the marriage you will need to provide your wife with the attention that she needs so that she does not seek it from other men.
A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (19 October 2009):
 I am sorry but it sounds like she doesn't want it to work out. Unless she changes and is committed to your marriage then it's not going to work out.
Try talking to her and see if that helps. Be pleasant to her and try not to argue.
If talking doesn't help then you need to rethink your relationship. Next time don't look for models/attractive women and instead concentrate on who they are and their personalities.
Good Luck!
...............................
|
